The firing of Mike Shanahan was easily the least anticipated story of the year. Of all the coaches in the league, only Bill Belichick seemed less untouchable. Anyway, the press is saying now that Bowlen wanted to fire the GM Shanahan, not necessarily the coach Shanahan. And although such surgeries are certainly possible at Johns Hopkins or the Mayo Clinic, all the money for such a procedure was tied up in former Browns’ defensive linemen.
It obviously stinks for Shanahan, who for all his failures as a personnel guy is an …

Children are crying across America this NYE (New Years Eve) on account of Charles Barkley, the hall of fame hoops player with a questionable fluency in English, was arrested for “purportedly” being drunk and operating a vehicle. Now, I put the quotes around the word purportedly because I saw this mugshot:

Followed by these receipts:

Damn Charles. Happy New Years.

 
There’s a rule in the NFL: every season, half of last year’s playoff teams will be replaced by non-playoff teams from the year before. This year was no different, with the Eagles, Falcons, Vikings, Cardinals, Ravens, and Dolphins replacing the Redskins, Bucs, Packers, Seahawks, Pats and Jags. You can set your watch by it. We know for certain that six of the teams currently in will not be in next year. That’s why the NFL is better than Major League Baseball.
What made this season’s field a little stranger was the …

Dear Answer Man,
Man, I need some help here. I am starting up a new Rec League Team and we can’t agree on a name. We voted as a team and decided we’d have you decide. Yep, our team fate is in your hands. Also, I am relatively new to this and I can’t decide on what number to wear. How does one go about deciding what number to wear? I want something that is cool and will stand out. Lay it out for me Man.
P.S. Any chance you’d want …

The Jonas Brothers haven’t been clear for take-off in the zeitgeist of web bashery, with the exception of that one time one of them totally ate it on the AMA’s last year — remember? America collectively chuckled, then sobbed in empathy — but this video will more than justify the hope that they ever seize to exist on a musical stage forevermore.

If you’re brave enough, look for the Bros’ cover of John Mayer’s “Gravity” — putting it here would just make waterboarding look comfortable.

Howard Refuses To Date “Unclean” Women
Hustle & Flow star Terrence Howard refuses to date women who don’t use moistened tissue on visits to the toilet – as they are “not completely clean.” The Oscar-nominated actor insists potential female suitors must not rely solely on toilet tissues in the bathroom, and even goes to the trouble of advising any partners to make the switch to baby wipes if they don’t already use them. He tells Elle magazine, “If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. …

We interrupt your holiday season to bring you these follicular developments, both from across the pond.  In royal news, Prince William has grown a beard in what is the universal attempt to disguise male pattern baldness by proving that growth can still occur, just not where you want it.  Previous hotness rating (out of 10): 8 (extra points for crown jewels etc.)  New rating: 7 (less royal, more Royal Mountie)
In teen heartthrob news, Robert Pattinson has shed his glorious Twilight locks for a more military ‘do.  Pattinson, chafing at the …

Mike Huckabee’s former presidential campaign manager Chip Saltsman sent members of the Republican National Committee for Christmas the comedy album “We Hate The USA.” The album was in stock at Amazon and shipped in time for the holiday but according to those who received it, the comedy portion is apparently on back order.
Recorded by conservative humorist [sic] Paul Shanklin, the album is said to be a satirical spoof on The New York Times and includes the controversial song “Barack the Magic Negro.” Many have been outraged by the song but …

The speculation is over. We know who’s in, and who’s Dallas (henceforth, that will stand in place of the term ‘out of the playoffs’). The teams on the outside looking in will get a little more pub this week since this is their eulogy.
THE NUMBER ONE SEEDS
1. Tennessee Titans (13-3) – Rolled over and died against the Colts. No sense risking players to injury after losing Haynesworth and Vandenbosch. Watching Jeff Fisher talk after the game is like hearing someone who just lost a game of darts: sure, you didn’t …

The Gift of the Magi – watch more funny videos