This Just In, Demi Moore is Still Hot!

And why wouldn?t she be? After becoming disillusioned with her middle-aged sagging knees, Demi is rumored to have spent over 200K to be nipped, tucked, tightened and lifted in all the right places.

For 200K I can guarantee that I too would be an absolute vision of hotness. I?d be so hot that eyeballs would melt from their sockets and form little heart shaped pools at my feet. Boxer shorts would spontaneously combust as I sauntered by. They?d write songs about me, I?d be so hot. You?d think that Demi would be satisfied with her newly renovated body and its 200K worth of hotness. But apparently she rather misses being cloaked in the oh so pungent perfume of baby barf as she and her hubby, Ashton Kurtcher, are thinking of getting that brand new packaging all stretched out and wrinkled, again.

Note to Demi: Dear, you may have the boobs and butt of a 25-year old, right now, but if you get knocked up again at your age I can guarantee you that it won?t be your knees that?ll be sagging. Sure, you could fork out another 200K and continue to get reconstructed, but do you really want to go from supreme hotness to looking like Michael Jackson in drag?

[Michelle Gray is the editor of, and contributing writer at, In Cold Blog, a multi-authored true crime blog.]