Michael Jordan Eats Nuts

by Michelle McKee

 

Former Chicago Bull and NBA superstar, Michael Jordan, apparently digs crazy chicks.  Not just a little crazy, mind you, but thoroughly bat-shit crazy.  No, he’s not dating Britney Spears.  You see, in Meadville, Pennsylvania they have fruitcake all year ‘round, and it goes by the name of Lisa Ann Miceli (pictured).  Ms. Miceli is not only quite an athletic supporter; she also seems to be nuttier than squirrel turds on an acorn farm.

Unfortunately for Air Jordan, he was unable to keep his penis in check and twice dipped his wick into the lovely, and by all appearances totally out of her fucking mind, Ms. Lisa Ann Miceli.  Remember Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction?  Substitute Glenn for Lisa, the bunny for blogs , throw in a false allegation of paternity and I bet you can begin to smell what LAMe has been coookin’. According to the maniacal gold-digging mistress with the single digit IQ, Michael Jeffrey Jordan is the father of her 3-year old son.  However, Jordan denied it and DNA tests were done.  Both tests came back with the same results.  LAMe’s child was not fathered by His Airness. 

You’d think that would be the end of it, wouldn’t you?  Not on your life.  Because like I mentioned above, Ms. Miceli doesn’t seem to be playing with a full order of McNuggets.  Instead of just backing off, tucking her gold-digging tail between her legs, sucking it up and taking her leave, she is alleged to have been launching a campaign of perpetual harassment against not only Michael Jordan, but also against his family, friends and business associates.  LAMe has, allegedly, unloaded 400 emails and notes, hundreds of phone calls, and more than 200 voice mails.  She has even begun posting threats that she will accuse the former NBA star of rape, when earlier postings in her blogs clearly indicate that she was more than a willing participant.

Why is LAMe refusing to give up and let go of a man who clearly doesn’t want her in his life or his bed?  Because she is bound and determined to get money out of Jordan for a child that is not his – and because she is obviously a mental midget who doesn’t have enough basic education to understand that when the DNA says he is not the baby daddy then he is not the daddy.  I think the little bimbo could benefit from watching (since she doesn’t seem smart enough to read books) an episode or two of CSI.  Don’t you?

Because Looney Lisa is quite apparently unable to understand something as simple as someone telling her to stay the hell away from them, Jordan has been forced to file an injunction against LAMe, in order to encourage her to find a hole and crawl into it.

But, who is the baby daddy if not Jordan?  Does anyone really care?  Well, just in case you do care and think that this is the most interesting drama since an episode of As the Stomach Hurls - I took a dive into the electronic dumpster and have brought, exclusively to you, the blog that might answer the burning question of just who fathered Mad Miceli’s baby.  Could the baby daddy actually be a married police officer who was booted from the force because he was providing LAMe with the private information of various individuals?  Did LAMe purposely set out to get pregnant so that she could get into Michael Jordan’s wallet?  Does the blog author have an inside line?  Or is it all just rumor and innuendo?

The not so endearing LAMe has been a busy little beaver over the last year with her own various blogs.  The writing is similar to that of an illiterate Goomba from a third-world country and will quite literally make your brain feel as though it is beginning to atrophy.  But other than that, if you enjoy bearing witness to the insanity of others, or just like to make fun of people who aren’t as smart as you, then the following web sites where Lisa mutters might be right up your alley.  Keep in mind, as you guffaw yourself into a cardiac arrest while reading the ravings of the barely illiterate little minx, she alleges that she holds a degree in psychology and is “penning” a book. 

http://lisamiceli.blogspot.com

http://michaeljordansmistress.blogspot.com

http://michaeljordansmistress1.blogspot.com

http://michaeljordansmistress23.blogspot.com

http://mjordanmistress.blogspot.com

[Michelle Gray is the editor of, and contributing writer at, In Cold Blog, a multi-authored true crime blog.]