News that’s been Stepped On

Now on the E! Channel (10:30/9:30c), following “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated”, it’s… “LivingLohan”!
This is, of course, the new reality TV-program where Lindsay’s mother, Dina Lohan, tries to turn her daughter, Ali Lohan, into the exact same sort of fame-grabbing, paparazzi-swamped, scandal-monkey that she molded little Li-Lo into.
The show will most likely become the most wholesome, all-American thing on TV; really underscoring the importance of strong values and an unexposed crotch.
By the way… how much cosmetic surgery has Dina Lohan actually had? She’s got to be at least 75% plastic. At this point, I think she’s essentially just a walking talking Barbie doll.
Which is ironic, because it seems Barbie dolls are exactly what she treats her kids like.

Steven Tyler is entering rehab for the second time since 1986; which is actually quite impressive considering, ever since they formed in 1970, they’ve been playing nothing but music that makes you want to do blow. In fact, I’d say that showed great will power on Steven’s part.
What makes me sad is looking at the band now. Steven & Joe Perry are the only remaining member of Aerosmith who don’t look like they should be aimlessly wandering the halls of an old folks home. Instead, Steven and Joe have decided to slowly turn into wax-sculptures.
Frankly, I think the band has waited long enough; so, I’ll go ahead and finally say it.
“You guys are just as good as the Rolling Stones.”
There. Are you happy? I’ve perjured myself.
Now you guys can finally retire.

(Sometimes, I get the sense that, at the end of time, after nuclear fall-out, the only remaining things are going to be Aerosmith and the Rolling Stones; still on tour, munching cockroaches and Twinkies, completely unable to decide who has bigger lips.)

A Starbucks barista has reportedly come forwards saying he has been altering the Olsen Twin’s coffee’s (switching from Skim Milk to full-fat) because he was worried about the actresses’ overly-skinny statures.
What’s funny is, a rep for the actress has denied the story, even though the story is apparently coming straight from the barista who says he’s been doing it.
So… either a barista felt like making up a really asinine story, or reps for the Olsen twins decided to deny a really asinine story. My only guess was that Olsen’s reps also work for Starbucks corporate (the only party involved on which this story reflects negatively).
Either way:
It’s a really asinine story.

Goodnight and Good Luck.