Ultimate Flirting Championship

The Ultimate Flirting Championship is a cute little widget that any person is capable of playing, including my dumb ex-wife. You sign in as a male or female, then it decides if you are going to be a judge or a flirter. The judge is always the opposite sex of the flirters. For example: if the judge is Michael Jackson, then the flirters will be black men. Three possible questions exist in each round and the judge picks the one that he wants to ask, such as “Where would we go on our first date?” The flirters type in their best response and the judge decides the best given answer by the flirters. In the end the judge picks a winner and everyone goes home happy, except the kids who play this game with Michael Jackson.

A typical question asked is, “What kind of car would you be?” The obvious answer here is “I wouldn’t be a car, but I’d give you a hummer for free.” That is how you flirt. When I was the judge I picked the question, “What kind of Dinosaur would you be?” The girls actually named real dinosaurs, which despaired me. I was expecting, “I would be a mega-sore-ass after you got done with me.”

Not everyone plays this game with a dirty mind like me. Most people give legitimate, genuine answers. Since people are judged on their flirting, this could be a great way for kids to learn how to flirt. UCLA was developing a course called “Flirting 101”, taught by Danny De Vito. The course would consist of students flirting with each other, while Professor De Vito would stand on a stool and urinate on them. But now there isn’t a need for it. Students: just go to flirtchamp.com, it’s the only lecture you need to attend.