HONOLULU, Hawaii
Most men take it for granted that they can grow a beard anytime they want, but that’s not the case for everyone.
Statistics say that one out of every seven men can not grow a beard, or if it does grow in, it grows in very sparsel
In particular, there are many men in both the Asian, Hawaiian, and Native American communities, as well as many plain ordinary American men who are “follically challenged” in the facial area.
Now, thanks to a man named Abe Tahanaka there’s a solution.
Mr. Tahanaka is part …

My cousin Fred and I meet every now and then to talk about sports and politics and our lives. Usually, it’s for lunch at a Chinese restaurant and on this day we did just that. As usual, he ordered Moo Goo Guy Pan. I don’t know what that is and I don’t want to know. I had shrimp and fried rice.
We ordered and poured some tea.
“I had a very unusual month recently,” he told me. I dropped a sweetener into my tea and sat back.
“It was about six in the …

Infant Genius Admitted to College – Says “Don’t Treat Me Like A Baby”
ADELAIDE, Australia
Ten month old Wiley Marshall is by far the youngest student ever admitted to South Australia’s Flinders University, in the capital city of Adelaide.
Born with the ability to speak fluently, the infant genius reportedly greeted both his Mom and Dad in the delivery  room, and thanked them for giving birth to him.   He then went on to thank the doctor and staff for their role in his birth!
Dr. Henry Thurman, head Gynecologist at Adelaide General Hospital where …

Fat, Drunk and Stupid: The Inside Story Behind The Making Of Animal House by Matty Simmons released by St. Martin’s Press has just hit the shelves.
We have been asked to review the book, I told them, ‘Look, just because Matty Simmons was a founder of National Lampoon, where I work and he produced Animal House, my all time favorite movie. Don’t just assume I’ll be giving it a easy review. We are professionals. There is an editorial process. So be prepared.’
One might say Fat, Drunk and Stupid could rank up there with …

If there’s one thing everyone knows about Floridians, it’s that they love the second amendment.  This is, after all, the state that pioneered the concept of the Shotgun First Communion.   And really, what better place to pass gun friendly legislation than a state that combines the attitudes of the old South with large concentrations of minorities, elderly Jews, and gay people?
But don’t worry…Floridians will assure you that lenient gun laws are no indication that their state is teetering on the brink of becoming an ultraviolent post apocalyptic Mad Max …

A recent article that went viral, mixed actual quotes attributed to Mitt Romney with a number of statements by notorious Springfield Nuclear Power Plant mogul, C. Montgomery Burns and asked readers to distinguish between the two.
For example Romney once said, ”I grew up drinking Vernor’s and watching ballgames at Michigan & Trumball” .
“This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election,” on the other hand, was pure Burns…but then again, Romney still has to utter that one as well.
It got me thinking about the parallels between Romney and Burns.   Of …

BUTTE, Montana — Dale Roderick, a hardware store owner in Butte, has just been accepted into the Guiness Book of Records, for being able to lift a heavy wooden table with his eye.
“Why anyone would want to do this is beyond the comprehension of most people”,  said his wife Irma, but Roderick says “it’s been a hobby of mine ever since I was a kid.”  “For some reason,”  he said, “ I always liked to do things with my eye.”
He went on to explain, “as a very young child, my …

There are certain times when, as a reviewer, a movie comes along that gets your excitement up to 11.  You try to remain impartial and go into a film with a blank slate and no previous biases, but sometimes its just impossible.  And when I go to my mail and I see the Unrated Director’s Cut of Kate & Leopold in there, I get all giddy.  Because you know what they’re implying when they say “Unrated Director’s Cut.”
Rampant nudity.
I had not see the Rated version of Kate & Leopold, but …

This just in,with Rick Santorum telling a young student he wasn’t allowed to bowl with a pink bowling ball, we at National Lampoon have obtained a top secret ultra exclusive list which details the thoughtful, kind hearted, and tolerant views of President Candidate Rick Santorum.
Other Things People Aren’t Allowed To Do According Rick Santorum

1: Be Gay.

2: Like The Color Pink.

3: Like Balls.

4: Like Madonna.

5: Like  Cher.

6: Like  Dogs.

7: Like Glee.

8: Engage in homosexual activities.

9: Like Engaging in homosexual activities.

10: Like Broadway.

11: Like Shopping.

12. Wear Sweater Vests. Wait…Wear Flamboyant Sweater Vests.

13:Like Cabaret.

14: Eat Fruity Pebbles.

While many of us don’t plan shoving off this mortal coil anytime soon, there are many unforeseen circumstances whose mere occurrence might be met with the worst possible result– death. Instead of being woefully unprepared for the inevitable, I’ve taken this occasion to create a public living will/ death to-do list available to my loved ones should the unthinkable (no, not that unthinkable, the other one) happen. This living web document will not only be a legal reference should I fail to come up with an official alternative prior to …