House M.D. Is World’s Most Watched Show

by ThaneEconomou

The Eurodata TV Worldwide announced that the Fox medical drama House M.D. is the most watched show in the world. The Hugh Laurie program brings in more than 81.8 million viewers.

The reason for the show’s large following is due to its easy ability to be translated. In South America, the show, known as Casa M.D., is often set to mariachi music. The show is very popular in China, where it is edited heavily, thus House does his work for free and spouts off the philosophy of Mao. And the show is hugely popular in Ethiopia, where residents claim “we love how cranky he is, and can’t wait to see what happens next season. It’s a nice distraction since we haven’t eaten in months.”

House M.D.’s huge viewership worldwide also explains why the rest of the world thinks we need healthcare reform.

The second most watched show was CSI, which makes sense, because Europe is completely covered in semen, and people can identify.

The third most watched show was last year’s winner, CSI: Miami. David Caruso taking off his sunglasses is the universal sign of awesome, and needs no translating.

The most watched soap opera worldwide is the American show Bold and the Beautiful. It pulls ahead of the Marina from Mexico. Marina, the telenovela about a tourist boat captain who inherits a large fortune, was thought to have “jumped the shark” this season when Veronica killed her twin sister Laura, and Marina found Chuy’s watch at the crime scene.

The most watched comedies worldwide were Desperate Housewives, Monk, and Ugly Betty, proving that people around the world have shit taste in comedy.