It’s German so we can safely assume it’s NSFW.

by Drake Miller

A recent German Sprite Commercial was banned for being a bit too…refreshing? Also the sex stuff may have been a problem.

It’s possible this could be unsafe for work if your boss was, say, born without a sense of humor. Just a heads up.

So do you feel like buying a Sprite now? No? Just confused and aroused? I get that.

Using sex to pedal your wares is about as old as dirt. However it’s usually along the lines of “if you buy this medium to high quality beer, buxom blond women will overlook your flaws, such as lack of a job and/or serviceable car, and get naked with you. ” And its effective. Hell, it’s why I bought all those commemorative plates. But everybody knows that ultimately you purchase your beer (or your presidents of the 19th Century plate set, whatever) and there’s nary a bikini-clad snowmobiler to be found.*

But, now it seems the advertising equation has changed to…

Our Product = Your Gear

(Or if you happen to be a woman, someone else’s gear. If you’re gay, feel free to pick and choose as you see appropriate.)

In fact, I’m starting to see a pattern here. Remember this foreign BK ad from a little while ago:

http://www.newser.com/story/62686/bk-goes-crude-with-7-inch-burger-ad.html

Putting aside for a second that Burger King’s new sandwich is apparently blowing my mind away, starting with my knowledge of English idioms, what the hell? Is that a blow-up doll? Is she started by oncoming traffic/the man junk sandwich?

These are the tough questions, people. The whys. The what ifs. Maybe it’s a new trend. Maybe it’s a foreign thing. I don’t know. I’m just saying, there’s something going on here.

*On the real, though, were you to buy some of the fine National Lampoon products from Jerkass Clothing, women will in fact have sex with you. I guarantee it. Crazy, crazy sex.