Kumar Goes to the White House

by Gabriel Grossman

July 6 has just become an epochal and seminal day in American history. You may remember it as the day Jan Hus was burnt at the stake in Czechoslovakia, or as the anniversary of Richard III’s coronation in England in 1483. Today, July 6, 2009, marks the day for America when Kal Penn assumes his pivotal role in the American government as Associate Director in the Office of Public Engagement.

You may very well be asking yourself, what does this mean for the American people, let alone Penn himself?

Well, it marks for Obama the beginning of a massive public outreach program, albeit more subtle in approach than his previous Town Hall meetings or network-dominating announcements. No, this marks the beginning of a more sweeping, far-reaching campaign. It’s name: Operation Munchie Migrants.

In recruiting Penn for his vital role as liaison to the public, Obama has already sent the message to the United States, “Yes, we can reach White Castle without raising your taxes.”

But Obama wants more than that. Kal Penn represents the American dream. He came from nothing, that is, a the weed-smoking do-nothing, who, with some hard work and determination reaches his dream: thirty two sliders. And, really, isn’t that what America needs right now? Some weed, hard work, and sliders—that’s the American dream.