McMahon … Fawcett … Who’s Next?

by ThaneEconomou

It is a commonly known phenomenon that celebrities die in threes. The following deaths all occurred within days of each other: Heath Ledger, Suzanne Pleshette, and Brad Renfro. John Ritter, Johnny Cash, and Warren Zevon. Johnny Cochran, Terri Shiavo, and Pope John Paul II.

With the devastating deaths of both Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett, there is only one thing on my mind. Who’s kicking the old bucket next?

Here are the odds given to me by my bookie. Before you say I have a problem, shut the hell up, and check out the following probabilities:

Jay Leno: 50 to 1 – In a tragic turn of events just months before starting his primetime talk show, Jay Leno will perform his monologue in a real comedy club, bomb, and die onstage.

Jennifer Aniston: 32 to 1 – She will fall in love with another paparazzi-addicted celebrity, get dumped and become heartbroken. Again. Someone is bound to put her out of her misery.

Megan Fox: 20 to 1 – After copying her fashion style, her tattoos, and her attractive scowling look, Angelina Jolie finally murders her after rumors of Fox being cast in a Tomb Raider prequel.

Spencer Pratt: 14 to 1 – Being this awesome, all the time, can’t be good for your health. Because he is pure awesome. He’s so awesome … wait, I don’t think I’m using that word correctly.

Lindsay Lohan: 6 to 1 – I’m surprised she’s stayed alive this long.

Patrick Swayze: 5 to 1 – Yet he won’t die from pancreatic cancer, but during a surfing stunt during filming of Point Break Part 2: Paddling Out

Abe Vigoda: 2 to 1 - Because he’s old. Like really old. He’s 88. To keep updates on if he’s dead yet, check out AbeVigoda.com

**Editor’s Note - 3:07pm Pacific** Smart money was on Michael Jackson…