Obama’s Beer Summit A Success!

by ThaneEconomou

President Barack Obama’s plan to booze up Professor Henry Gates and Officer James Crowley in an effort to solve their feud has succeeded. In fact, as the three men exited the so-called Beer Summit, in which Obama invited both men to the White House for a brew, Obama calmly announced that all racial problems were over.

While it is not clear how the beers ended decades of racial discrimination and mistrust on both sides, but Obama said that after having the brewskis, all racial problems would go away. Crowley and Gates then high fived, and headed back in to the Oval Office for round two. Obama said the Beer Summit is going great, except for Biden having to be “that guy” and showing up uninvited.

Not since Teddy Roosevelt invited feuding Russians and Japanese for the Treaty of Portsmouth Kegger of 1905 has a president so deftly used alcohol to solve world issues. Obama was so proud of the achievement that he has already announced its use in other world conflicts.

“I am thinking of having the Sunnis and Shiites to the White House for a Hookah Conference,” stated Obama, only slightly slurring his words. “And if this succeeds, I can see our administration setting up similar events to the Beer Summit. A cigar assembly. A Mike’s Hard Lemonade meeting. A cocaine convention.” Obama then finished the press conference, and re-entered the Oval Office to begin a game of Beer Summit pong.