Paris Hilton Vies For Attention, Startles Child

Desperate for attention during the late Michael Jackson’s domination of the media, Paris Hilton hit the streets (and fields) this morning in a bold attempt to garner some much-craved attention.Onlookers tried to ignore the slight heiress, but Hilton choked down a rare ring-tailed lemur (Lemur catta)–bones, fur, and all–to keep them looking. As a young boy began to weep at the brutal murder and consumption of the beloved Madagascan creature, the vapid blonde was overheard saying that the lemur tasted “hot”.