Pitching some Catch Phrases

by Gabriel Grossman

This morning, PopBitch (via Gawker ) reported that a certain, unnamed 90s TV star would exclaim his famous catch-phrase during the climax of the Carnal Act. We at National Lampoon have taken it upon ourselves to reveal for you the possibilities, the probabilities, and the unfortunate impossibilities. Nostalgize, imagine, and throw up just a little bit in your mind:

1.    Jerry Seinfeld— After asking her “What’s the deal with all that crap on your face,” Jerry’ll probably need to give the girl a little morale booster, such as: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

2.    The Soup Nazi—Yelling “No soup for you!” just sounds a bit contradictory, given the circumstances.

3.    Steve Urkel—Confused at his own sexuality, Jaleel White demands a forthright answer: “Did I do that?”

4.    Joey Tribbiani—Joey, beneath all the obnoxious cliché character tropes, is just a caring dude, which is why after drowning his sexual partner, he asks politely, “How YOU doin?”

5.    Eric Matthews—Everyone’s third favorite Boy Meets World  brother probably breaks down, lamenting his real lost love: “Feeeeeeeeeeney!”

6.    Dan Castellaneta—“D’oh!” That was fast.

7.    The Dinosaurs—After a thoroughly eccentric night, we’re pretty sure anyone would fall for, “I’m the baby—gotta love me!”

8.    Uncle Jesse—Whoa there, buddy, “Have Mercy!” Rebecca Romijn, apparently, didn’t have any.

9.    Michelle Tanner—“Aaw, nuts!” indeed, MK&A. No need to be a sad sack, about it.

10.    The Baja Men—We hope that, no matter where they all are, they scream in Unison, “Who let the dogs out?!” Woof woof woof woof. (Ok, we know they’re not from a sitcom, but how could we not?)

11.    The Brain—After a long night with Pinky, we’re pretty sure anyone would feel up for taking over the world.

That’s all for now. If you’ve got any more suggestions, throw them in the comments.