Posh Spice–The Future of Acting

by Gabriel Grossman

Daniel Day-Lewis has finally found a female counterpart to match his epic and painfully methodical acting prowess. The question is, is the world ready? Victoria Beckham, formerly Posh Spice of the genre-bending, avant garde collective known as the Spice Girls, hopes to prove that indeed it is. Previously in such epochal features as Spice World, Mrs Beckham intends on branching out.

In short: Victoria Beckham wants to become the Meryl Streep of a new generation.

What does the future hold for Mrs. Beckham? Her next project, the sequel to Sex and the City, is sure to bring audiences to tears.

Her onscreen presence is beginning to send a shockwave through Hollywood the likes of which have not been seen since Deep Impact. Variety reports that Mrs Beckham has just finished filming a remake of the 1978 classic Deerhunter, in which she plays Meryl Streep’s daring damsel opposite the Jason Statham. Early reports from the twitter entries of the key grip suggest that Beckham is a genius in the making: “Posh makes Heath look like a joke”, “A female Sean Penn, only taller,” and “Watching her reminds me of Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote.”

When asked about her decision to branch out into acting, Mrs Beckham remarked, “All I want to do is spice up my life.” When trying to classify her acting style, she remained an enigma, stating that, to her, acting is about, “The yellow man in Timbuktu, the color for both me and you, kung fu fighting, dancing queens, dancing spacemen, and all that’s in between.”

To the casual observer this may sound like quasi-intellectual nonsense from a has-been model in search of some controversy and, with it, attention. But that does not seem all that fair, does it? Let us deconstruct the statement, avoiding the trappings of the character and persona of the author herself, since that will hinder the interpretative faculties. By looking at her statement in this way, one finds that Beckham has encompassed the breadth of film history into one single statement. Consider her own list by different names:  The African Queen, Crash, Enter the Dragon, The King and I, Apollo 13, and, in her own immortal words, “all that’s in between.” Beckham is using every culture, every generation, every style, to craft an entirely new acting technique that will revolutionize “the craft” forever.