Robocop Movie Announced!

Following in the footsteps of Universal’s announcement that they will be making a movie based on the arcade classic Asteroids, MGM has just announced that they will be making a movie based on the arcade game Robocop.

MGM’s decision to make a Robocop movie based on the 1988 Data East video game has caused a great deal of confusion, as the video game, itself, is based on the 1987 Robocop film, distributed by the now-defunct Orion Pictures. The confusion doesn’t end there, as MGM owns Orion Pictures and may have to arbitrate against itself to gain full control of the Robocop rights.

“My brain hurts!” super game fan Jason Markonton screamed as we told him the news while he was waiting in line to buy Barbie Super Playland at GameStop. “I don’t even understand how that would work! Weren’t there three of the movies already? Why not remake those?”

Regardless of confusion over rights and already-existing films, the studio and its director are ready to move forward on the project. Brazilian director Paolo Makoto has already written a rough draft of the script and is eager to put his touch on the arcade non-classic.

“I want to stick with the visual style as much as possible,” Makoto told us from his Beverly Hills office. “There will be much profiles and side-scrolling shots and the Robocop will only be able to punch people until the second act of the movie, when he will suddenly have access to his automatic pistol concealed in his leg. There will also be hundreds of criminals swarming him at all times, and some are so strong that even a sneeze can damage the Robocop! it will be great!”

When asked about his version of the movie being based on a video game, which was based on a movie, Makoto coyly told us, “Real fans of the arcade game don’t consider the previous Robocop film true canon. We’re trying to bring something fresh and original to the table.”

Producer Mark Fordham Johnsberg also sees a great opportunity to open up more video game franchises that are based on movies and television shows.

“Those guys who just want to make video games into movies are so short-sighted,” Johnsberg quipped. “Why do that when you can make a movie based on a game, based on a movie or TV show? The Ducktales show has already been done, but what has been done with the Ducktales video games? Nothing! That’s what!”

Johnsberg then cut off the interview so he could phone Peter Jackson and call him a “kiwi-smoking moron”.

It remains to be seen if the movie-from-video game-from-movie-or-TV genre will take off like Makoto and Johnsberg hope, but with the glut of remakes and re-imaginations so abundant, it seems that Hollywood will embrace this new convoluted genre. Personally, this reporter is hoping for a movie based on the Street Fighter: The Movie arcade game, which was based on the Street Fighter movie, which was based on the Street Fighter arcade game.