SIGN FLIPPER IMPALES PASSERBY.

Sign Flippers: Officially known as human directionals, are active advertising campaigns. These men and women stand on corners, with cardboard or plastic arrows, promoting apartment complexes, cell-phone companies, and grand openings.

On Tuesday, May 26, at 3:35pm (PST), sign flipper Jared Jasper gravely miscalculated when he impaled a passerby with his arrow. ”I was just doing the normal vertical throw, ya know? And the arrow just slipped, I guess.”

Jasper’s arrow was a red Cingular Wireless ad, with a silver-plated tip. The sign, “fell” from Jasper’s hands, just as 45-year-old Thomas Garrison, a passerby and local construction worker, was heard yelling out: “Look at that F*ggot flipper! Flip that sign you little B*tch!”

Witnesses say Jasper, who was on roller skates, then flung the arrow 10 feet into the air, before it spiraled downward, slicing Garrison through the abdomen. Garrison was rushed to a nearby hospital where doctors extracted the words “half off”.