The Future of the Dope Game

There used to be a time when you didn’t need a degree to be a drug dealer. But it seems like all the new up-and-coming drug dealers of the future are doctors. The LAPD is questioning several of Michael Jackson’s doctors, from his cardiologist to his dermatologist. What type of power does this dermatologist have? We know Michael Jackson had a “skin condition,” but was it that serious that he needed major drugs.

What happened to the good ole days when all you needed was a contact, a few kilos of coke and you were an official drug dealer? What happened to the days of standing on the corner and harassing little children with the hopes of getting a new client? Now you have to do at least 15 years – that’s before the prison sentence, and pass the Medical Exam. This new breed of drug dealers are also prepared for any legal situation.  They have fast talking, fancy dressed lawyers, not a court appointed lawyer. They’re really changing the game.

But the face of drug dealers aren’t the only thing changing. Celebrities are also changing. Back in the days celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley and John Belushi would shoot up their own drugs; they didn’t have some fancy doctor administering their drugs. The stars today are just lazy. They want to do the drugs but they don’t want to “do” the drug.

Well anyways all my hopes and dreams are ruined, because now there’s no way I can ever become a drug dealer. It’s too complicated now.