The Zaz » The Most Awesome Movie You’ve Never Seen: THE ROOM

The Most Awesome Movie You’ve Never Seen: THE ROOM

by Thane Economou

In 2003, Tommy Wiseau released upon the earth The Room. Made for $6 million, Wiseau was the writer, director, producer and star. The film was released to terrible reviews, claiming it made no sense, and it was an incredible flop. So why am I writing about it? Because it is that awesome.

The Room now plays once a month at midnight at a Los Angeles theater. It sells out all five screens. Wiseau will often appear for Q and A’s, spouting off Shakespearean sonnets. Tommy Wiseau looks like a drunken, ripped, longhaired Christopher Walken, and speaks with a Dutch accent. He claims he’s born and raised in America, and when asked about his background, he says “wrong question.”

A black and white billboard featuring just Wiseau’s face was a fixture on Highland Avenue in Los Angeles for nearly five years. This caught the attention of moviegoers and comedians – such as David Cross, Paul Rudd, and Will Arnett. From then on, the film became a cult hit and midnight movie sensation. Tommy Wiseau now claims the movie was always meant to be a black comedy, but … nobody really believes that.

The movie is about Johnny (Wiseau) a banker who is in love with Lisa. Lisa is a slightly chubby bitch who is having an affair with Johnny’s best friend Mark. Meanwhile, their neighbor Denny is in love with Lisa, likes to watch Johnny having sex, and near the beginning of the movie is almost killed by a drug dealer (this scene is never referenced again). Oh, and while never stated, this character may be retarded.

Scenes come in and out and are never fully explained. In one scene, four male characters stand around the apartment in tuxes (we don’t know why) and go outside to toss a football from very close distances. One character falls down, and he is never seen again in the movie.

Continuity errors are common and lovable. Characters will appear from out of nowhere, never explained. Wiseau, confused at the difference between 35mm film and HD, decided to shoot with both, in the same scenes.

And while most of the movie is set in one room, some scenes do take place on the apartment’s roof. And while it would have been easy to shoot on a rooftop, Wiseau instead decided to shoot with truly god awful green screen.

But what really makes this movie awesome is the experience of watching it in a crowd. The lines are long, the theaters are packed. Before my showing, a drunk man stood up, yelled that he’s seen the movie 22 times, and while “there aren’t nearly enough tits, the movie is full of awesome.” That’s all I needed to hear.

For no particular reason, the set of the film is filled with framed photographs of spoons. At midnight showings, whenever these pictures are revealed, audience members hurl plastic spoons at the screen. The audience repeats the best lines alongside the actors, such as “You are tearing me apart, Lisa!” (yelled by Wiseau with almost Brando-esque ferocity). Whenever characters appear with no introduction, the moviegoers will scream out: “Who the fuck are you?”

In one of the film’s greatest moments, Lisa’s mom drops by, tells her daughter to stay with Johnny, then announces, basically unprompted “I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.” This revelation is never revisited again. Except by audience members, who yell out “Cancer!” every time she touches her daughter.

The film is filled with four very long, very boring sex scenes, two of which consist mostly of close ups of Wiseau’s own white, bony ass. During the final sex scene, some audience members stand up in mock boredom, yelling out for others to take a bathroom break.

The movie only grows in its intensity, ending with a character blowing his brains out. Seriously. You’d have thought this would end The Room on a somber note, except the final shot looks at if several main characters are giving the dead man oral sex. I really can’t explain it. You’ll have to see it for yourself.

Don’t live in a city where The Room plays? You can find it on Amazon for ridiculously cheap. And then you can spread the word to others, telling them: Ladies and Gentlemen, you simply have not lived until you’ve seen the most awesome movie you’ve never seen. The Room.