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by ThaneEconomou
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is one of the most popular comedies of the past few years. Yet, few people are aware that a straight to DVD, spin-off/sequel/alternative version titled Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie exists. And it is kidney battering awesome. Apparently, the original version of Anchorman was way too long, and contained an ill advised b-story about bank robbers. This was cut out and replaced with the panda subplot. What was left on the cutting room floor was reassembled into this kick ass, bodacious movie, only available through a two-pack special with the unrated original.
Tired of people quoting Anchorman for the past five years? Now you’ll know amazing Ron Burgundy quotes that have not already been drilled into the ground. “It’s jazz. It’s jazz baby.” “Son of a man nipple.” “This is a Pontiac Catalina” and “Pretend I’m a wolverine.”
What you have to imagine is that this movie is a collection of hilarious deleted scenes and a completely removed subplot, shoehorned rather forcibly by the narrator into a somewhat sequel. So, a terrorist group called The Alarm Clock is knocking off banks. Ron is dating Veronica. He is fired. He visits his mentor, the often naked Jess Moondragon. Then Veronica is kidnapped, and Ron is forced to do a newscast without a teleprompter. The finale is a soul enhancingly amazing split screen fight sequence with the villains.
A good deal of the scenes featured here in Wake Up, Ron Burgundy are just as funny as those in the original classic, but were cut out due to their association with the Alarm Clock subplot. These include:
- Ron and the boys are in the cafeteria. Ron questions Brick on what he’s eating. Brick replies “it’s one of those delicious falafel hot dogs with cinnamon and bacon on top.” To which Ron replies that it’s actually a used coffee filter with cigarette butts on it.
- Proving his interviewing skills, Ron interviews an old man whom he falsely believes is a bank robber. He opens with “how are you today, devil?” continues with “why don’t you shut your mouth you filthy piece of trash? You should go back to prison where every pervert can pass you around for cigarettes,” and finishes by threatening to break his spectacles.
- The boys, trying to find a kidnapped Veronica, use ATVs to travel up a mountain, battle a bear, and eventually consider cannibalism, “developed by the Japanese in the 1800’s” according to Ron. They almost eat Brian Fontana. “I will eat your face off your bones, Fantana!” screams Champ. “Hush little baby. Daddy’s gonna eat you” sings Ron.
As with the theatrical version, the film is full of cameos. Seth Rogan gets an extended role as a cameraman. Maya Rudolph plays a member of The Alarm Clock. Justin Long plays the news chief’s son who enjoys hanging around people’s homes in ski masks. Amy Poehler is particularly great as a bank teller that refuses to give cash to The Alarm Clock, because their masks (Abe Lincoln, Richard Nixon, and the Wolf Man) don’t make any sense.
By the end, when Ron Burgundy jumps in front of a bullet (“Spiderman’s balls that hurt”), makes out with Veronica (“wake up the black lady”), and walks off into the sunset alongside a Doberman pinscher, you’ll realize, this movie is unadulterated, bone crushing awesome.
It seems everyone is excited about the recently announced Anchorman 2. But until then, wet your appetite with this full length (not quite a) sequel. This movie is becoming harder and harder to find on dvd, but it is in its entirety on youtube.
Ladies and gentlemen, you simply have not lived until you’ve seen the most awesome movie you’ve never seen. Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie.
Previously in Thane Economou’s The Most Awesome Movie You’ve Never Seen series:
U.S. Seals II: The Ultimate Force
