SPORTS
GAMING
MOVIESTop 10 Sexy Aliens
by Garrett Hargrove
By Garrett “Sphere” Hargrove
Ebert called the blue Giraffe lady (Neytiri) in Avatar “sexy“. Not seeing it just based on the previews. Maybe in full IMAX 3-D with her smurf boobs popping out at you, it changes things. But there’s not a great legacy of sexy aliens in movie and TV history, so we always appreciate more. So where does she fall in the spectrum of the all time sexiest aliens?
Not Sure if It Counts: Number Six & Number Eight from “Battlestar Galactica”
I haven’t seen BG to know if they count. They’re really hot humanoid Cylons. Does being humanoid disqualify her? Not sure even though I made up the list. Regardless, here’s a picture of them to kick things off (Six on top of Eight. Wish I had a picture of that):
Not Sure if It Counts: Leeloo from The Fifth Element
She may or may not be alien. She’s the key to Earth’s survival. She’s the Fifth Element of Earth in addition to Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. She had the best fight scene of anybody on this list. But again, just don’t think she’s an alien.
Rest of the list after the break:
10. The Queen from Aliens
She’s got nice trim legs, a nice smile and, based on the thousands of eggs laid all around LV-426… she puts out.
9. The Three-Boob hooker from Total Recall
Is it overkill? I mean we only have two hands. That means one boob is always unattended. Is that something we would be OK with? Does the third boob really make the experience that much better? Who knows? But I think most guys like to try for themselves to see if it is too much or if it just comes naturally to balance the attention between all three.
WAIT!! Just reminded that Miss Tri-Tit wasn’t an alien. So we’ll replace her with:
9. Missi Pyle in Galaxy Quest
This might be more because we all just know Missi Pyle is attractive because she didn’t do much of anything to make her sexy in Galaxy Quest. And she apparently turns into a squid when you start having sex with her. Not sure how I would feel about that.
8. Arcee from Transformers: The Movie
Sure she’s a twenty foot tall robot that would crush you if she wanted to be on top. But the list isn’t about the logistics of it. Plus she turns into a motorcycle. Damn you Michael Bay for not using her better in Revenge of the Fallen. And for those overly racist robots. I mean come on. What was that?
7. Jeri Ryan from “Star Trek Voyager”
One of the many hot chicks from Star Trek who make me think I really should have put more thought into being a Trekkie. Also, she made this picture:
6. Neytiri from Avatar
She’s here because of Ebert’s ringing endorsement. I think her eyes being set so far apart makes her look a little too Admiral Ackbar.
5. The Green dancer chick from Return of the Jedi/Aayla Secura from Revenge of the Sith
These two felt very similar. Both were colorful, had off color lips and those two elephant trunks coming out of their heads. So its hard to pick one over the other. Just a matter of flavor. Green or blue. Lime or Raspberry. The green one became rancor food. The other was killed when Anakin became a total dick and had all the Jedi killed. Yeah. He even had the hot ones killed. Dick.
4. Kim Basinger from My Stepmother is an Alien
Its Kim Basinger in the 80’s. The same decade she convinced Batman to give up his secret double identity. She also won over James Bond that decade. So seducing Dan Aykroyd was pretty easy by comparison.
3. The Green chick from Star Trek
If she’s good enough for Kirk, she’s good enough for the rest of us. She’s played by Rachel Nichols. Here’s Rachel from GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra:
That should remove any doubts you have.
2. Supergirl/Kara Zor-El from “Smallville” & Supergirl
This one is obvious, right? You don’t need me to tell you why the genetically perfect blonde in the short skirt is hot.
1. Sil from Species
Very hot. Even atthe end, when they knew a sexy alien was going around screwing guys and then killing them, Alfred Molina still got into bed with her.
Of course, I always encourage debate on the subject in the comments below. Hell, even make up your list and put it in the comments. Best comment wins an email from the article author congratulating them for their success.
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Honorable Mention (Also known as major omissions on my part):
The S&M Chick from Superman II
Those weird cheekbones always made her look like Mr. Drysdale’s secretary at a Marilyn Manson concert.
Sally Solomon from “3rd Rock From The Sun”
Rally nice looking, but I always had the feeling she was one donut away from pulling a Kirstie Alley and doubling in size.
Leela from “Futurama”
Hard to leave her off of the top 10. Is it time to turn it into a top 20? No! Dammit no! People lose interest in lists beyond 10 entries.
T-Pain T’Pol from “Star Trek: Enterprise”
She just missed the cut. Why? Well imagine if you did have your way and were with this Vulcan. Things are going well. You’re thinking “Oh yeah! On a boat with T’Pol! Things are going well. Feeling Randy. Doing it with a Vulcan. Vulcan. Leonard Nimoy. Ahh! No! Don’t think that. Keep going. But she does have Leonard Nimoy hair. Ahhh! No! And its gone. Can’t do it any more. I’m out.”
The Chicks Who Come Together To Form A Giant Alien Chick in Dude, Where’s My Car?
That’s right. These chicks:
All merged together to form this giant hot chick:
They’re like Playboy’s answer to Voltron.
If you are including Tricia Helfer from BSG you also need to add Grace Park who was also a cylon.
Nice curveball on Aliens, however the three boob chick wasn’t an alien she was a mutant.
You also missed Leeloo Dallas Multipass from The Fifth Element and the Borg chick played by Jeri Ryan in Star Trek. I’m sure there were a million alien chicks that Kirk nailed in the original series but I’m not that much of a geek.
Oh and there was a British chick in Superman II. Black leather. Very nice.
I don’t think they ever said Leeloo was an alien. She was the fifth element of Earth. The perfect human. Even wikipedia says she’s apparently human:
Federal scientists are able to recover a portion of the Fifth Element and use a reconstitution device to recreate it, whereupon it takes the form of an apparently human woman named “Leeloo” (Milla Jovovich) described as “the perfect being”.
Oh, and T’Pol on one of the other Star Trek’s was a vulcan.
Pretty sneaky Sphere!
its a trap!!!!!!!!!!!! (in wroth voice)
Jeri Ryan, aka 7 of 9, is human. She was abducted by the Borg as a child and has some alien implants that enhance her, but she is still human. Smokin’ hot either way, tho.
I’d have to add Jadzia Dax, played by Terry Farrel, to the list of sexy aliens that can kick serious ass.
Hmmm. My lack of true Star Trek knowledge seeping through. Hope no one notices…
I will work on amending the list. Thanks, Dragon!
Jadzia Dax should SO be on the list. BTW, the actress that played her was also the snarky ex-model barkeep on the show Becker.
I think that the half-Klingon mate of Worf who appeared in Star Trek Next Generation is SMOKING HOT. I unfortunately do not remember her name.
B’Elanna Torres from Voyager was also hot,IMO. Of course, I’m a definite geek and a definite pan, so you straight boys may not be able to trust this choice LOL.
There were hot aliens in plenty of TOS episodes. There was the hot chick that Spock banged in All Our Yesterdays…yes, SPOCK ACTION with a HOT BLONDE. FTW. There were hot chicks in The Blink of an Eye. The alien chick’s illusion image in Cat’s Paw was somewhat hot… Um.. Green dancer chicks (such as Gala from JJ Abram’s ST) from Orion are mentioned and pictured in those TOS episodes that due that thing with former captain Pike. I personally thought the Romulan officer that tried to seduce Spock in The Enterprise Incident was hot, but again, my judgement is questionable. Ehh… Ah, yes, in Spock’s Brain there was a large culture of pretty ladies that occasionally took their surface dwelling male counterparts as slaves. I can’t remember a whole lot more, but I do know there were. xD
[...] The Zaz » Top 10 Sexy Aliens The Green dancer chick from Return of the Jedi/Aayla Secura from Revenge of the Sith. These two felt very similar. Just a matter of flavor. The green one became rancor food. The other was killed when Anakin became a total dick and had … Tags: sexy aliens, revenge of the sith, aayla secura, dancer chick, rancor [...]