Where’d I Go?

by alwaysangry

 Mirror Mirror on the wall, at least we’ve still got each other…

 

Dear Zaz,

 

Like, what happened? HELLO!!! What about Paris? Paris is still the hottest. Paris never had kids when all these other Hollywood C-words did, ughck. Love you Nicki!!!! J/K LOL. Paris never went to a psych ward or recovery program, right Brit? Paris went to jail because like, I’m just hardcore and stuff.

 

Yet Paris faded into obscurity like Boner from Growing Pains. Listen, Paris  is 85% of a Hollywood power couple. Paris came out with MY clothing line. Paris came out with MY fragrance for him and her. Paris came out with MY hair extensions (Paris tension). Paris has a line of mirrors that make you look totally HOT, like me. Paris came out with MY movie that alludes to Paris getting naked yet I don’t. Paris came out with MY movie that I get stuffed in, which B.T. DUBS is totally effing HOT!!!! OH AND Paris came out with MY new reality show like a few weekends ago and it’s not about being a BAD MOM… MY ME ME MY MY ME ME PARIS ME ME MY MY ME!

 

Stop playing hard to get America, like Paris gets it. Do I need to become BFF with Miley Cyrus to get your attention? Does she need to go to rehab before you take note of me again? I eat babies! Pay attention.

 

 

LIKE ALWAYS EFFING ANGRY,

 

P <3