You know how in every age there’s always some naysayer crowing from out the highest turrets of the, uh, castle about how things used to be better and that our society is slowly sinking into the swamp of immorality and prurience? You know that guy, right? He dated my sister briefly a few years ago. Always carried a copy of Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra with him even though he never read it and didn’t really understand Nietzsche anyway? You know…yeah, that guy. Well, what if in spite of his …

Hi everyone; Andy here again. I’ve managed to find another one of those cross-dimensional entertainment columns, although I only happened upon this one by chance, and I’m running out of ideas on how I can acquire more. With the expenses my wife keeps charging – you know how women are with shopping! – I don’t know what I’m going to do. Do we really need food? Do we really have to pay our mortgage? I keep yelling at her for this stuff, and she belts me in the chops …

You know how in every age there’s always some naysayer crowing from out the highest turrets of the, uh, castle about how things used to be better and that our society is slowly sinking into the swamp of immorality and prurience? You know that guy, right? He dated my sister briefly a few years ago. Always carried a copy of Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra with him even though he never read it and didn’t really understand Nietzsche anyway? You know…yeah, that guy. Well, what if in spite of his …

Hey everyone, Andy here for The National Lampoon. For those that don’t know about me, I work at CERN in the Large Hadron Collider division. Recently, during a test run, a hole in space opened up and a magazine from some terra incognita appeared out of nowhere. Now I don’t know how handy you all are with multidimensional physics, but apparently those dimwits over at CERN think it’s a big deal or something. The lead scientist Arthur Dimwitz wants to study it and figure out all its whatevers since …