Apparently Fantasy Football begins tonight.

Unfortunately the silly draft was smack dab in the middle of cocktail hour (everyone knows I’m busy at 4pm), so I missed the draft. I’m not too happy that my players don’t have the best footwear in the league, but the guys at Fox Sports did some sort of autodraft.

Let’s hope their method is as good as mine.

As for the loser challenge? It might suck for someone else.

Mike Judge’s latest movie Extract has just a whiff of Beavis and Butthead, and that’s good. Joel Reynolds (Jason Bateman) is the straight man for the comedy occurring all around him. Joel’s wife Suzie (Kristen Wiig)  closes up shop with a final tug to her sweatpants every evening at exactly 8pm, Joel is the saddest man in his too expensive planned community. He is living in a sexless marriage and driving the most expensive car in a dull town.

Joel wants sex with Cindy the con artist (Mila Kunis). Unfortunately Joel doesn’t know Cindy is a con artist, and even more unfortunately Joel is friends with Dean the Bartender (Ben Affleck) who hatches a boozy plan wherein a gigolo is hired to seduce Suzie.

Extract is wildly entertaining. There is crass humor but it’s never uncomfortable. When Joel and Dean go to a friend’s apartment I was laughing so hard my sides ached and tears came to my eyes. The wardrobe is phenomenal, there’s the neighbor Nathan (David Koechner) and his Mom Jeans that were comedic genius.

Almost everything about Extract was just right. It was funny, but not in your face. The jokes were clever without being jokey and silly. The director respected the audience enough to give you some sublety. Thank you for that.

Ben Affleck was a bit of a headscratcher for me. I found his character funny, but his dazzling white teeth had me thinking Entourage and not Bartender in NoWhereVille. I am admittedly easily distracted by over white teeth and botox. It didn’t ruin the movie for me, but I like to leave Hollywood behind for ninety minutes.

Brian (J.K. Simmons) is Joel’s number two at the Extract Factory. He is every reason I am unemployed. With some luck, no great skill and horrendous interpersonal interactions, Brian manages people. I recognized him instantly as “that guy”, but you don’t know his name, and you can’t recall exactly which movie he was in because he is quite simply his character. Sublimely funny and dressed to perfection, Brian is one of the supporting characters that make this show such a win.

The women of Extract were amazing. Mila Kunis as a thief and master manipulator is spectacular, Kristen Wiig is living every woman’s worst nightmare right down to the French Tip Manicure (who has time for that?), and Beth Grant is perfection as Mary whose job seems to be pressing a button.

It’s possible that I walked into Extract as a fan of Jason Bateman and wanted to love the movie. The plot is good but unremarkable; however, the characters are stupendous. I’m always saying that we don’t want to see people just like us on TV or in movies. Perhaps I was wrong? With a cast like Extract, perhaps we do want to see people just like us in the movies, because the people just like us were absolutely hysterical.

Extract is rated R and comes to theaters Friday, September 4th.

Today at E3, Nintendo and Segway unveiled their new Wii Fit Plus game.

I had a long rap planned about how funny it is that we’re so lazy we can’t even “virtually walk”.

But then something even funnier came out of E3

Sony has a new light up penis wand motion controller for the PS3

Be sure to read Engadget for full coverage of the E3 conference.

Jessica Gottlieb is a Mommy Blogger in Los Angeles.

Last week my friend Nina sent a link to a super funny show that I wanted to share with y’all.  I just finished watching Episode #7 of Duck n Cover, it’s Bully. If you ever had a fantasy of arresting your childhood bully, this is the show for you.

Duck n Cover is a sublimely funny Web Based series (webisodic?) that features Detectives Miller and McKenna as bumbling detectives who need training, therapy and a few more IQ points. From the site:

When Miller and McKenna lost their respective partners in a controversial and widely-publicized failed drug bust, the two greenhorn detectives were paired up to fight crime the only way they know how… sloppily. After months of mandatory couples therapy and the occasional physical altercation, they are now on the mend and out to make their mark in law enforcement.

The show is visually pleasing and the pace is perfect. The actors and editors give you a moment between gags to giggle and refocus while they set you up for a proper guffaw. Somehow the guys at Duck n Cover had me in stitches just waiting and watching the see who would knock on a door (episode #2). Holmes and Brent have magic between them.

So thanks again to the interwebs, I’ve found yet another wonderful show. It’s clever and pulpy with just a touch of eye candy for the girls.

Duck n Cover Show
Matthew Brent as Det. Steve Sweeny McKenna
Michael Holmes as Det. James Miller
Brian Lerner: Co Creator
Sergio Pinheiro: Co Creator

If you’re like me, you’re trying to figure out what David Cook, Ed Begley Jr., Hank Azaria and Emily Procter have in common. How do you get an American Idol, an envronmentalist, an A List Actor and an impossibly beautiful actress have in common?

They’re all guests on tonight’s episode of Free Radio. I was able to steal borrow get my hands on a copy of most of the second season. In their second season Free Radio really hits their stride. I sat alone in front of my television laughing constantly. Though edgy, the humor never crosses over to mean, and the audience is always in on the joke. Free Radio is the best of improv.

For those of us who just can’t get enough, Lance and his costars are on twitter, and they have a great site online.

Every Thursday (yes, that’s today)
11:00 PM ET/PT ON VH1

Once again there’s nothing to write. All I have to do is direct you to Ingrid Newkirk’s insane will.

The text is as follows, if you’re looking for humor, I’ve taken the liberty of bold facing some of the content:

As someone who has dedicated a part of my life to the alleviation of animal suffering in various parts of the world, it is my wish that upon my death, my body be used to further that same goal. It is with this purpose in mind that I make the following directions and designations relating to the disposition of my final remains. I make these directions and designations after thorough consideration and pursuant to my firm belief in the purposes for which they are made.

1. Upon my death, it is my wish that my body be used in a manner that draws attention to needless animal suffering and exploitation. To accomplish this, I direct that my body be donated to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), 501 Front Street, Norfolk, Virginia 23510, to be used in whatever manner it chooses in order to accomplish the specified purpose, with the hope that most of my body will be put to use in the United States, with parts also dispatched to awaken the public consciousness of governments and citizens in the United Kingdom, where I was born, in India, my beloved childhood home, and in Canada, Germany, and France.

2. While the final decision as to the use of my body remains with PETA, I make the following suggested directions:

a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed;
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