Sing, goddess, the anger of Mad’s son Michael

And its devastation, which put pain thousandfold upon

Zaller and his Zaz.

What was it then set them together in bitter collision?

The sad sombrero, or the menacing moustache—marauding

in guise of greater guile?

Strike up in your mind’s eye, noble Madsen

Just how you’ve made alien your most loyal

Apostle, who preached your gospel and sung your praise:

Yes, Madsen: mind most high

(whose penis prevails perpetual

the proof of which lies potent

in the pudding of Zaller’s visage)

scholar and renaissance man,

who no doubt appreciates this English heroic verse,

why forsake ye your truest of friends?

A comedian comes to stroke your

Ego, his sole job rests in hurting himself,

That renders you more regal

You do it yourself, yielding

Not to conscience, or the cacophony

Of other multiple persons that in your mind

Lurk, lying in wait with specious passion

Of self-defence.

Oh, muse, do make him see,

Give him sight of the specific sorrow,

Yea take his eyes farther than his tactful hat,

Now that he may know what he has done:

That he has taken our job,

Becoming the barb

That the comedian continu’lly seeks.

What use have we for jokes

Or whimsy, when you

For our pleasure do all provide:

Your dream-drought

And your high hat—

That merry mitre of a majestic mind.

Muse or dote, Mr Madsen, do take note

These comedians wish you would comport

Since now we will see you sink, not float

In the costly and honored halls of civil court.

Michael Madsen has a new film out called HIRED GUN (Directed by Brad Jurjens). And when he agreed to sit down for an “offbeat” interview with me, I don’t think he realized that I was going to be joking around, trying to get a reaction out of him. In a nutshell, Madsen looses his cool.Please enjoy.

HIRED GUN available on netflix:

and amazon.com:

John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Director Roland Emmerich participate in an open and candid forum about the potential end of the world, and their new film 2012. The meandering of the forum ushered in topics such as Vicodin, dehydrated food pills, Elephants, The Queen of England, boxes of humanity, Noah’s arc, and so forth. I attempt to convince Chiwetel Ejiofor that we share the same birthday, award nominations, and life history. I also attempt to convince Roland Emmerich that they’ve worked together before and are friends. Much to my chagrin, Emmerich remembers that they do not know each other…yet. Worth a watch.

Splinterheads releases today in NYC: premiere here and website here.

Splinterheads is easily one of the best films of the year. It’s funny, well written, and Thomas Middleditch, Rachel Taylor, and pretty much the entire cast deliver great performances.

Splinterheads is written and directed by Brant Serson, who’s done a magnificent job writing and directing. I was already a fan of his last film BLACKBALLED (with Rob Corddry, Paul Scheer, Rob Riggle, Ed Helms, Rob Heubel, Curtis Gwinn, and many more), and Splinterheads really resonated with me as well.

Serson has a unique ability to portray middle class slackers realistically. And that’s no easy feat. Most of Hollywood and many of the self-proclaimed Indy features I watch fail in depicting “regular” people. Not many folks can pull it off, but Serson succeeds. And it makes this film refreshingly fun to watch, funny, and authentic.

The story is about a twenty something slacker Justin Frost (played by Middleditch) that basically doesn’t do much of anything for a living beyond landscape architecting with his buddy Wayne (Jason Rogel). When he gets ripped off by a traveling carnival worker Galaxy (Rachel Taylor) he finds himself sucked into the carnival world through a series of random encounters, and he ends up falling for the girl and finding his world completely intertwined with the world and workers of the carnival, who call themselves the “Splinterheads”.

This is definitely a film more than worth seeing. Great story and great characters. Here’s the trailer:

British comic Nick Frost and Actor Tom Sturridge step into the world of Matt’s mind for a quick jaunt into the nether-regions of imaginative forestry. Watch as space is explored, teeth, spirits, African generals, joints, long hair, and boats.

Talulah Riley, one of the stars of the upcoming film PIRATE RADIO, sat down to have a chat with me about the various topics of the boat movie genre, humpty dumpty, all things transatlantic, and giving birth. Please enjoy.