Suckling at the Glass Teat: Big Love

Mark and Andy are back with the first video version of Suckling at the Glass Teat!

Reality Beat - Survivor

Hey everyone!  It’s your favorite Average Joe reality freak Dennis here!    This was a long week with it being the start of the Olympics and Presidents day, Lent and even Fat Tuesday was this week too!   I was throwing alot of strings of beads around on Tuesday and ,,, oh wait,,  I have said too much.  ANYWAY,  back to reality, I just watched Survivor and it was a doozy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Kevin Eubanks: A Tribute

“The guy with the guitar who laughs at everything.” - David Letterman

It was announced Kevin Eubanks will be stepping down from The Tonight Show some time soon after Jay Leno returns to his throne of lies.

Undoubtedly the worst bandleader in late night, Eubanks never added anything substantial to the show. He never said anything of note. So why did I assemble the above tribute video? Why am I eulogizing Kevin Eubanks? Because from the few times I watched Jay Leno’s program (with my eyelids forced open Clockwork Orange-style) I noticed Kevin Eubanks wasn’t a bandleader – he was a friend.

Eubanks is a friend who sticks with you through the good and the bad (well mostly bad). He laughs at your jokes even when they aren’t funny, or as Jay Leno calls them: the monologue. And he is dependable. Whenever Jay Leno asks “you hear about this one, Kevin?,” Eubanks has no idea what he is talking about. Everytime! That’s dependability.

Read the rest of this entry »

Reality Beat with you’re favorite Reality Joe

Hey all,   it’s your favorite Average Joe here, Dennis, and I wanted to just chat with you for a bit about some reality tv you may or may not have been watching this week.     It was a big week for 2 reasons,  Probst & Degeneres.   Yes I am talking about Survivor and American Idol.    On American Idol this week, I watched like 1/2 the universe did, to see what would happen when Ellen Degeneres sat down in the vacated judge’s chair of Ms Paula Abdul.   Was she gonna be funny?  Was she gonna flirt with Simon?   Was she gonna have anything constructive to say to the contestants?    Welllllll, to answer those questions I think I am gonna say it’s almost too soon to tell how she really is gonna fit in to that table.  She started off great with being able to make contestants laugh, but it’s gonna be a long season.

This week was the first week of Hollywood where there are 100+ singers here to be paired down to 24 and the first 2 days were brutal.  After the 2nd day we are down to 71 and there were some sad departures like the girl Vanessa from TN who you can just picture in a Dolly Parton song about the hardships of life,  she was definitely not in her comfort zone under the big lights here in Hollywood and let her nerves get the best of her.   A funny guy Len had did a great acoustic version of Paula Abdul’s “Straight UP”  that got rave reviews from all the judges and kept him around until group day sunk his singing battleship.  Len even tried to do a little begging after being cut which looked even worse.  The beat boxer Blake Lewis wanna be Jake Stone also didn’t make it past this week.

It’s too early to tell who anyone can see rising to the top for this season,,, there aren’t really any immediate stand outs like Adam Lambert was last season.    On a  happy note tho,   Big Mike was dealing with a wife in labor pretty much throughout day 1 and day 2 of Hollywood week and with the birth of his baby girl, he also made it thru so I wish him luck yet I don’t think he will last.

Ok, fasten your seatbelts,   it’s Survivor season 20!   This time they are doing another all stars,,, yet they are calling it  Heroes vs Villains.  This is silly because ultimately everyone has to PLAY SURVIVOR which means you have to somehow outwit outplay and outlast everyone else.

The only way one can achieve this is by getting your hands dirty now and then if not all the time.  I will agree that some are shadier and more villainous than others so that’s how they come up with Heroes vs Villains.   It could have been just like my high school experience and just been named Popular vs Most Likely to be in Detention.   I guess that wouldn’t fit on the buffs.

Anyway,,,  I digress,,,  this first 2 hour episode got my juices flowing because as a true reality fan, I was eagerly awaiting the moments of the 2 teams getting their feet on the beach and sizing each other up and letting the trash talk start.   The people to watch out for in my opinion on the Heroes side are Cirie Steph, and Amanda.  These ladies are sure to rule the roost over that side.    On the Villains side however, there is a very diverse group of strategists.

My top 4 on that side are Boston Rob, Russell, Sandra & Parvati.    My favorite villain tho for sentimental reasons is Jerri.  I am hoping that she goes far and does not NOT get romantically entangled at all with the Dragonslayer.  OY!     OK!   Right off the bat they are given their first challenge which was a doozy pitting 2 on 2 in different combinations.  2 from each tribe would run out dig up a bag,,, and which ever team got that bag back to their flag got the point.  There was some good wrestling, face pounding into sand, drag out matches that ultimately led to the Heroes victory.

They made it to 3 points first and won flint to make fire but they didn’t win easy.  Rupert busted a toe and Steph had her shoulder dislocated but medical popped it back in.  Yes we ALL heard the pop sound too and Colby had a very bruised ego from being whupped by Coach.     Both teams go to their camps and begin the preliminary stuff we all know and love,,,  no not just making shelter but making alliances and letting their paranoia flags fly high.   I LOVE IT!     The immunity challenge 2 days later had the Heroes waaaay out front only to lose it all at the puzzle.  The Villains had caught up and with the help of Boston Rob and Sandra, solved the puzzle and gave their team the win.   This sent the Heroes to tribal council.  A brand new 40 feet in the air structure built that had alot of elements from past season tribal councils.  The torches went back to the basics of just being bamboo sticks which was very nostalgic and brought a tear to my reality tv loving eyes.    Sugar who was one of the weakest on the team per se, and also 1 of the people that stunk on the puzzle, was the one that everyone voted out.   So if anyone needs a cup of Sugar in the future on that island,,, they are out of luck.

So reality fans, I now bid you fond adieu for the moment but don’t get too comfortable because you’ll never know when this Reality freak will be back to bend your ear about whatever is airing his tv!    I’d sleep with 1 eye open if I were you…and leave the tv on too!  

CLUELESS

Dear world, I have a favor to ask. When I die could someone please make sure that the LA County Coroner who examined the body of Brittany Murphy composes an autopsy report for me as well? As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind him touching up my resume while he’s at it. Looking to tweak that 2-week stint cleaning toilets at Arbys when I was 15 in to some “Executive Sales Experience.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Ugly Betty Cancelled for Good Looks

It was annouced this morning that the ABC comedy ‘Ugly Betty’ would be cancelled this season, with enough time for a series wrap-up this spring. The cast and crew were informed this morning. Its been rumored the cast has just been getting too good looking for anyone who previously enjoyed the off-beat show, to care anymore. I mean, if having glasses on an otherwise very pretty character makes you ugly, good lord. Most of us are down-right disgusting.

See the rest of the story from AOL here:

Mark and Andy are back with the first video version of Suckling at the Glass Teat!

Hey everyone!  It’s your favorite Average Joe reality freak Dennis here!    This was a long week with it being the start of the Olympics and Presidents day, Lent and even Fat Tuesday was this week too!   I was throwing alot of strings of beads around on Tuesday and ,,, oh wait,,  I have said too much.  ANYWAY,  back to reality, I just watched Survivor and it was a doozy. Read the rest of this entry »

“The guy with the guitar who laughs at everything.” - David Letterman

It was announced Kevin Eubanks will be stepping down from The Tonight Show some time soon after Jay Leno returns to his throne of lies.

Undoubtedly the worst bandleader in late night, Eubanks never added anything substantial to the show. He never said anything of note. So why did I assemble the above tribute video? Why am I eulogizing Kevin Eubanks? Because from the few times I watched Jay Leno’s program (with my eyelids forced open Clockwork Orange-style) I noticed Kevin Eubanks wasn’t a bandleader – he was a friend.

Eubanks is a friend who sticks with you through the good and the bad (well mostly bad). He laughs at your jokes even when they aren’t funny, or as Jay Leno calls them: the monologue. And he is dependable. Whenever Jay Leno asks “you hear about this one, Kevin?,” Eubanks has no idea what he is talking about. Everytime! That’s dependability.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey all,   it’s your favorite Average Joe here, Dennis, and I wanted to just chat with you for a bit about some reality tv you may or may not have been watching this week.     It was a big week for 2 reasons,  Probst & Degeneres.   Yes I am talking about Survivor and American Idol.    On American Idol this week, I watched like 1/2 the universe did, to see what would happen when Ellen Degeneres sat down in the vacated judge’s chair of Ms Paula Abdul.   Was she gonna be funny?  Was she gonna flirt with Simon?   Was she gonna have anything constructive to say to the contestants?    Welllllll, to answer those questions I think I am gonna say it’s almost too soon to tell how she really is gonna fit in to that table.  She started off great with being able to make contestants laugh, but it’s gonna be a long season.

This week was the first week of Hollywood where there are 100+ singers here to be paired down to 24 and the first 2 days were brutal.  After the 2nd day we are down to 71 and there were some sad departures like the girl Vanessa from TN who you can just picture in a Dolly Parton song about the hardships of life,  she was definitely not in her comfort zone under the big lights here in Hollywood and let her nerves get the best of her.   A funny guy Len had did a great acoustic version of Paula Abdul’s “Straight UP”  that got rave reviews from all the judges and kept him around until group day sunk his singing battleship.  Len even tried to do a little begging after being cut which looked even worse.  The beat boxer Blake Lewis wanna be Jake Stone also didn’t make it past this week.

It’s too early to tell who anyone can see rising to the top for this season,,, there aren’t really any immediate stand outs like Adam Lambert was last season.    On a  happy note tho,   Big Mike was dealing with a wife in labor pretty much throughout day 1 and day 2 of Hollywood week and with the birth of his baby girl, he also made it thru so I wish him luck yet I don’t think he will last.

Ok, fasten your seatbelts,   it’s Survivor season 20!   This time they are doing another all stars,,, yet they are calling it  Heroes vs Villains.  This is silly because ultimately everyone has to PLAY SURVIVOR which means you have to somehow outwit outplay and outlast everyone else.

The only way one can achieve this is by getting your hands dirty now and then if not all the time.  I will agree that some are shadier and more villainous than others so that’s how they come up with Heroes vs Villains.   It could have been just like my high school experience and just been named Popular vs Most Likely to be in Detention.   I guess that wouldn’t fit on the buffs.

Anyway,,,  I digress,,,  this first 2 hour episode got my juices flowing because as a true reality fan, I was eagerly awaiting the moments of the 2 teams getting their feet on the beach and sizing each other up and letting the trash talk start.   The people to watch out for in my opinion on the Heroes side are Cirie Steph, and Amanda.  These ladies are sure to rule the roost over that side.    On the Villains side however, there is a very diverse group of strategists.

My top 4 on that side are Boston Rob, Russell, Sandra & Parvati.    My favorite villain tho for sentimental reasons is Jerri.  I am hoping that she goes far and does not NOT get romantically entangled at all with the Dragonslayer.  OY!     OK!   Right off the bat they are given their first challenge which was a doozy pitting 2 on 2 in different combinations.  2 from each tribe would run out dig up a bag,,, and which ever team got that bag back to their flag got the point.  There was some good wrestling, face pounding into sand, drag out matches that ultimately led to the Heroes victory.

They made it to 3 points first and won flint to make fire but they didn’t win easy.  Rupert busted a toe and Steph had her shoulder dislocated but medical popped it back in.  Yes we ALL heard the pop sound too and Colby had a very bruised ego from being whupped by Coach.     Both teams go to their camps and begin the preliminary stuff we all know and love,,,  no not just making shelter but making alliances and letting their paranoia flags fly high.   I LOVE IT!     The immunity challenge 2 days later had the Heroes waaaay out front only to lose it all at the puzzle.  The Villains had caught up and with the help of Boston Rob and Sandra, solved the puzzle and gave their team the win.   This sent the Heroes to tribal council.  A brand new 40 feet in the air structure built that had alot of elements from past season tribal councils.  The torches went back to the basics of just being bamboo sticks which was very nostalgic and brought a tear to my reality tv loving eyes.    Sugar who was one of the weakest on the team per se, and also 1 of the people that stunk on the puzzle, was the one that everyone voted out.   So if anyone needs a cup of Sugar in the future on that island,,, they are out of luck.

So reality fans, I now bid you fond adieu for the moment but don’t get too comfortable because you’ll never know when this Reality freak will be back to bend your ear about whatever is airing his tv!    I’d sleep with 1 eye open if I were you…and leave the tv on too!  

Dear world, I have a favor to ask. When I die could someone please make sure that the LA County Coroner who examined the body of Brittany Murphy composes an autopsy report for me as well? As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind him touching up my resume while he’s at it. Looking to tweak that 2-week stint cleaning toilets at Arbys when I was 15 in to some “Executive Sales Experience.”
Read the rest of this entry »

It was annouced this morning that the ABC comedy ‘Ugly Betty’ would be cancelled this season, with enough time for a series wrap-up this spring. The cast and crew were informed this morning. Its been rumored the cast has just been getting too good looking for anyone who previously enjoyed the off-beat show, to care anymore. I mean, if having glasses on an otherwise very pretty character makes you ugly, good lord. Most of us are down-right disgusting.

See the rest of the story from AOL here: