I don’t get no respect.

His name is Rolland Dangerfield. Send him some comedy love.

www.facebook.com/rollanddangerfield

Looks like Falcon Heene has struck again.

Huge Meteorite Crater Deemed a Hoax

Some Latvian phone company dug a hole in the ground and pretended it was a meteor strike for the publicity. Rumor is, during a Q and A with the press, one of the phone workers started barfing everywhere. It was awful. Something about too much pressure, it being for a show, blah blah blah.

Did The Weather Channel Just Get More Useless?

The Weather Channel has announced that it will start showing movies. That’s right, movies. I thought it was bad enough when MTV stopped playing music or when Cartoon Network started showing live action or when BET had a white person on, but this is pretty awful.

When do you watch The Weather Channel? Either right before leaving the house to decide whether to wear a jacket, or in the case of an emergency and you want to know if you are going to die from a tornado or hurricane. Which is why I look forward to turning to The Weather Channel in a moment of desperation to find Deep Blue Sea playing.

The films chosen are supposedly weather-centric (such as The Perfect Storm) but some of their choices are a bit harder to pin down, such as March of the Penguins and Misery, which I suppose both feature weather in that they both occurred on the planet earth. I just pray that they begin airing Step Up 2 The Streets, since the dramatic final showdown is in the rain.

But let’s be serious. People have been pleading for years for The Weather Channel to begin showing movies. It’s not like you can watch them on any other channel. So, dammit, they are finally giving the people what they want: highly censored B-movies.

Additionally, The Weather Channel has promised to continue their weather updates every ten minutes. Which means the terrible movies will be interrupted every ten minutes. I imagine that would be quite disruptive when I’m trying to enjoy the acting abilities of Christian Slater in Hard Rain.

The Weather Channel was recently purchased by NBC Universal - the kings of good decision making. NBC Universal’s history of wise decisions include canceling Southland, greenlighting Joey, and putting Jay Leno on the air in primetime every day of the mother fucking week. So, their leadership is clearly leading The Weather Channel in the right direction.

JT Did It…

Who knew Deep Fried Butter was the key to sweet moves?

Breaking News: Balloon Boy Is Now Well Boy

He’s fallen in a well. Details at 11.

Last Chance to Vote for the Worst Song Ever!

It started with extensive research and 32 songs emerged. The people spoke and 16 were left standing! (Assume I wrote three more NCAA Tournament Broadcast-worthy lines here.) And now two remain…

Straight out of Los Angeles, California… residing on the US Pop Charts for over two months… clocking in at over 2 million downloads on iTunes… it has been called “the musical equivalent of a bad Farrelly Brothers movie”… My Humps!!!!

And the challenger… hailing from Nashville, Tennessee… a breakthrough crossover hit on both the Country and Pop charts in the United States… the reason people hate country music… so bad it was passed over by the Oak Ridge Boys… Achy Breaky Heart!!!

And now its up to YOU to decide which one is the worst song of all time. How do you let us know here at the Zaz what your vote is? There are several ways!

Option A:

Send an email to thatsongiscrap@gmail.com (yes its real). And vote for which ones you want to go on to the next crappy round. Sample email:

Mr. Zaz Report,
In order to sway your vote I am going to intoxicate you with my female cleavage and female bottom. Aw. Who am I kidding. I don’t care if our song loses this contest and is officially deemed the worst song ever. I just wrote this for you. Because I am drunk. Drunk on your lovely gentleman humps. You drive this Fergie crazy. You do it on the daily. I’ll treat you really nicely. I’ll buy you a Cherry Icee. Playstation with the Blu-Ray. I’ll buy you one every day. Tickets to the big game. I want to be your Dame.

Anyway. Here is my vote. CHECK IT OUT!:

Achy Breaky Heart

Fergalicious

Option B:
Become a fan of The Zaz! Report on Facebook and post your votes as a comment on there. Fan page is here.

Option C:
Comment on this post. Feel free to use foul language, make fun of any celebrity you see fit or just post your votes. You have free reign over your comments. Go buck wild.

Option D:
Stalk a Zaz! Report Writer and tell them your vote!

Please have your votes in by October 10th and I’ll post the results and we can finally name one song the WORST SONG EVER!

Current Vote Totals…

My Humps          Achy Breaky Heart

32                          13

Let’s take a more detailed look at the two songs (after the break):

Read the rest of this entry »

His name is Rolland Dangerfield. Send him some comedy love.

www.facebook.com/rollanddangerfield

Huge Meteorite Crater Deemed a Hoax

Some Latvian phone company dug a hole in the ground and pretended it was a meteor strike for the publicity. Rumor is, during a Q and A with the press, one of the phone workers started barfing everywhere. It was awful. Something about too much pressure, it being for a show, blah blah blah.

The Weather Channel has announced that it will start showing movies. That’s right, movies. I thought it was bad enough when MTV stopped playing music or when Cartoon Network started showing live action or when BET had a white person on, but this is pretty awful.

When do you watch The Weather Channel? Either right before leaving the house to decide whether to wear a jacket, or in the case of an emergency and you want to know if you are going to die from a tornado or hurricane. Which is why I look forward to turning to The Weather Channel in a moment of desperation to find Deep Blue Sea playing.

The films chosen are supposedly weather-centric (such as The Perfect Storm) but some of their choices are a bit harder to pin down, such as March of the Penguins and Misery, which I suppose both feature weather in that they both occurred on the planet earth. I just pray that they begin airing Step Up 2 The Streets, since the dramatic final showdown is in the rain.

But let’s be serious. People have been pleading for years for The Weather Channel to begin showing movies. It’s not like you can watch them on any other channel. So, dammit, they are finally giving the people what they want: highly censored B-movies.

Additionally, The Weather Channel has promised to continue their weather updates every ten minutes. Which means the terrible movies will be interrupted every ten minutes. I imagine that would be quite disruptive when I’m trying to enjoy the acting abilities of Christian Slater in Hard Rain.

The Weather Channel was recently purchased by NBC Universal - the kings of good decision making. NBC Universal’s history of wise decisions include canceling Southland, greenlighting Joey, and putting Jay Leno on the air in primetime every day of the mother fucking week. So, their leadership is clearly leading The Weather Channel in the right direction.

Who knew Deep Fried Butter was the key to sweet moves?

He’s fallen in a well. Details at 11.

It started with extensive research and 32 songs emerged. The people spoke and 16 were left standing! (Assume I wrote three more NCAA Tournament Broadcast-worthy lines here.) And now two remain…

Straight out of Los Angeles, California… residing on the US Pop Charts for over two months… clocking in at over 2 million downloads on iTunes… it has been called “the musical equivalent of a bad Farrelly Brothers movie”… My Humps!!!!

And the challenger… hailing from Nashville, Tennessee… a breakthrough crossover hit on both the Country and Pop charts in the United States… the reason people hate country music… so bad it was passed over by the Oak Ridge Boys… Achy Breaky Heart!!!

And now its up to YOU to decide which one is the worst song of all time. How do you let us know here at the Zaz what your vote is? There are several ways!

Option A:

Send an email to thatsongiscrap@gmail.com (yes its real). And vote for which ones you want to go on to the next crappy round. Sample email:

Mr. Zaz Report,
In order to sway your vote I am going to intoxicate you with my female cleavage and female bottom. Aw. Who am I kidding. I don’t care if our song loses this contest and is officially deemed the worst song ever. I just wrote this for you. Because I am drunk. Drunk on your lovely gentleman humps. You drive this Fergie crazy. You do it on the daily. I’ll treat you really nicely. I’ll buy you a Cherry Icee. Playstation with the Blu-Ray. I’ll buy you one every day. Tickets to the big game. I want to be your Dame.

Anyway. Here is my vote. CHECK IT OUT!:

Achy Breaky Heart

Fergalicious

Option B:
Become a fan of The Zaz! Report on Facebook and post your votes as a comment on there. Fan page is here.

Option C:
Comment on this post. Feel free to use foul language, make fun of any celebrity you see fit or just post your votes. You have free reign over your comments. Go buck wild.

Option D:
Stalk a Zaz! Report Writer and tell them your vote!

Please have your votes in by October 10th and I’ll post the results and we can finally name one song the WORST SONG EVER!

Current Vote Totals…

My Humps          Achy Breaky Heart

32                          13

Let’s take a more detailed look at the two songs (after the break):

Read the rest of this entry »