http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com Funny Celebrity Gossip & Entertainment News Sat, 04 Jul 2009 01:50:06 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en In the past, TNT has shown the World War II drama Saving Private Ryan unedited. But family rights groups are opposed to the realistic depiction of profanity and violence, and therefore are asking for the film to be censored. A new trailer has been released for a happier, less bloody version ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/tnt-shows-happier-less-bloody-version-of-private-ryan/ Michael had a strong Venus/Uranus complex?? This explains everything! Buy an IQ Membership on InfiniteQuest.com to resolve more of life’s impenetrable mysteries! Just when you thought celebrities were too wise and all-knowing for this world—case in point: Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP—television psychic John Edwards unleashes something EVEN WISER and ALL-KNOWINGER. Because InfiniteQuest.com ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/michaeljacksoninfiniteques/ In an interview on “Today,” Jermaine Jackson said, “he wish he was the one who died,” sad thing, the rest of the world agrees. As for the child molestation cases, Michael was accused of Jermaine Jackson was quick to say, “I’m Glad It Wasn’t Me.” But if it was Jermaine Jackson ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/uncategorized/jermaine-jackson-wishes-it-was-him/ This is the future of flying.  Between the taking off your shoes, taking off your belts, and the See Through X-Rays that TSA will soon be using.  We will soon be flying the friendly skies naked. Arrive at the airport in your bathrobe.  Then the choice is yours to either keep it on ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/flying-the-naked-skies/ People wanted history – so National Lampoon made history. (Or, at least, researched it.) 324 A.D. The Battle of Adrianople : Constantine kicks the ever loving shit out of Licinius, who fled to Byzantium (which I’m assuming is some form of metal). 1754 A.D. French Indian War : George Washington pusses out and ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/on-thiz-day-july-3rd/ Gary Coleman's wife was locked up for Domestic Violence.  She allegedly broke household items that belonged to Gary but he wasn't harmed.  When asked about the incident Gary Coleman said, "Whatcha talkin 'bout Willis?" http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/gary-coleman-beat-down/ Apparently, someone in Japan implanted a chip in my brain to spy on me and steal my dreams for profitable movie ideas. Bonus points to those who recognize the background music, or have seen Tokyo Gore Police. Oh, and some of this is a little NSFW, so if ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/get-out-of-my-brain-japan/ What’s the best way to boost a company’s morale? By having “Naked Friday”, of course. A design and marketing firm in Newcastle brought in the help of David Taylor, a business psychologist, who suggested the idea. When asked about the idea, David said “Inviting an organization to go naked is ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/naked-friday-in-full-effect/ Status Update: Jess Levith is no longer on Facebook. Facebook, you can eat it. You've proven to be even more toxic than Myspace. Sure, you guise yourself as the conservative, responsible, even MATURE social networking web site. One that my grandmother feels comfortable logging onto before her morning vitamins. But you ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/facebook-its-complicated/ Word has it that Richard Dawkins, figurehead of the atheist movement and author of such books as The God Delusion and You Must Be Retarded If You Disagree With Me , has helped found a summer camp. Camp Quest will feature such camp activities as rock climbing, kayaking, lessons in rational ... http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles/wet-hot-non-denominational-summer/