Dear world, I have a favor to ask. When I die could someone please make sure that the LA County Coroner who examined the body of Brittany Murphy composes an autopsy report for me as well? As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind him touching up my resume while he’s at it. Looking to tweak that 2-week stint cleaning toilets at Arbys when I was 15 in to some “Executive Sales Experience.”
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