Ray Carsillo reviews Fist of the North Star: Ken’s Rage from Koei for the Xbox 360.

The Round of 16 is officially over, which has some pros and cons to it. It’s great because the World Cup only gets more exciting from here. However, it’s awful because the tournament will soon be over and other lesser sports will soon overshadow the majesty of the beautiful game that appears only once in a blue moon, that is, assuming that blue moon comes once every four years during June and July and stays for four weeks.

I would have posted this earlier, but I was busy pinching myself as my World Cup dreams are coming true in spite of the many upsets! If you have made it to the Round of 16, consider yourself lucky. Many of the great tournament teams are out, which means you might actually have a chance of going far in the World Cup.

I’m pretty sure someone from FIFA sent out a memo to all the teams a couple of weeks ago, reminding them, “Don’t forget to try to win!” Apparently none of the African teams got it. It’s understandable. With many African nations struggling with terrible infrastructure and an alarming lack of development, the postal service is likely pretty bad. You’d think there would at least be a village fax machine that the players could use to stay informed. But I digress.

Apparently, someone in Japan implanted a chip in my brain to spy on me and steal my dreams for profitable movie ideas. Bonus points to those who recognize the background music, or have seen Tokyo Gore Police. Oh, and some of this is a little NSFW, so if you’re looking for a way out of your job, rock it loud.

Tomoji Tanabe, the world’s oldest man, died in Japan at age 113.
He was so old…
HOW OLD WAS HE?
He was so old that he would go to the buffet for dinner at 2 in the afternoon.
He was so old that ACDC told him to turn his TV down.
He was so old that he never said things were better in his days, because his days were the Great Depression.
He was so old that he got the Senior Special back when IHOP was still the League of Nations of Pancakes (LONOP)
He was so …

Come on this is ridicules! Having three men haul in this robotic teacher, which looks like an anime character, into class is purely asinine. Is this world so scares of teachers that a robotic one has to be made? Plus, if you wanted to indoctrinate the children into thinking whatever you wanted them too, would it be that hard? Just program “Robo-instructor” to teach the kids that Sunday is the day where you steal money from your parents and bring it to the teaching assistant. Bam! Now you have …