At their epic Comic-Con panel, executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse were forthcoming and very open about offering absolutely no information about the sixth season of Lost.

However, I have gotten my hands on the secret scripts from season six. I spent several months bribing the guards, seducing the maids, and studying the office blue prints. Upon entering the office building late in the evening, I shot and killed a janitor who looked at me funny. Hooked up to a wire system, I maneuvered myself up and down the ventilation system. I then descended into the office. As I was hacking into the computer mainframe, J.J. Abrams entered. He informed me that he hadn’t worked on the show for years, and I should try Carlton Cuse’s office. I left out the back.

Then I broke into Carlton Cuse’s less guarded office last night, and found the script for the sixth and final season. And let me tell you, it is crazy. What you are about to experience is a National Lampoon exclusive, and if you are adverse to spoilers, please turn away now. Read More

It doesn’t open until May 9th but here’s the trailer for J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek.