The cast of Jersey Shore is everywhere!

Attention was first paid to television’s most addicting pile of dog shit when Italian American groups claimed Jersey Shore was racist. But as soon as the first episode aired, our nation discovered this show was something different. It wasn’t as stupid as The Hills. As predictable as The Real World. As trashy as Flavor of Love. No. It was worse. And it was glorious.

But the show then grew into a true pop culture phenomenom when a “Next On Jersey Shore” clip showed footage of the perpetually annoying female cast mate “Snooki” getting punched in the face at a bar. In response to an ensuing controversy, MTV decided to pull the footage from the air. And it’s a good thing too. Now people will never get to see the distasteful footage again!

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MTV’s new show, Jersey Shore, has come under fire after marketing stated that their newest reality program “exposes one of the tri-state’s most misunderstood species … the GUIDO.” It continues in its description, stating the show will follow eight youngsters at a beach house in New Jersey, including cast members like “Vinnie,” “Jenni J-WOW,” and “Paulie D.” A National Italian-American group has called for the show’s cancellation, claiming the term Guido, meaning a muscle shirt wearing/bar hopping/slick haired jerkoff, is an offensive stereotype.

The reaction from the Guido community was even more serious, when a Guido press release stated: “ARE YOU SERIOUS!? WHAT IS THIS!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!? WHAT!?”

Italian-American groups are not the only people offended. Representatives of the State of New Jersey are filing a complaint, saying it is a stereotype to think that loud mouth Guidos only come from Jersey. They claim Guidos also come from Long Island, Queens, or any place where hair gel and gold chains are in high supply.

In the opinion of this reporter, this show is wildly offensive. This reporter feels it is terrible to stereotype those Guineas in such a way. These Wops may be a filthy people, but they are also hardworking Americans, with respectable jobs like owning restaurants or strip clubs. And how dare MTV use the term Guido so casually when it is clearly offensive to the Goombah community.

This controversy is not the first of its kind to hit MTV. Two years ago, some groups called for the boycott of Hotlanta which followed the adventures of young African-Americans, and MTV billed it as their newest reality program “that exposes one of the country’s most misunderstood species … the N—–.”

And of course there was MTV’s short lived mid-90’s series, “That Dumb Polack!”

With all this talk of people upstaging adorable songwriting country stars (Hi Taylor), I feel like some things  may have fallen through the cracks. And by things, I mean…what the fuck is on Kayne’s head? Is anybody else seeing some sort of complex puzzle or maze? I feel like if you watched the VMAs stoned, you might just get lost for hours. His stylist probably moonlights as the guy who makes those paper place mats for TGI Fridays. Check out the up close photo from Perez and the following photo for an even more inexplicable side view:

Other possible expanations:

They’re crop circles made by a tiny, very douchey spacecraft.

The symbols are actually a major plot point in the next Dan Brown novel.

Kayne knew his parents told him not to, but he wanted his hair to look just like Cool Doctor Money.

He wanted blind people to be able to feel his head and know that he’s a giant tool. Kinda like douche Braille.

I could go on and on. (And sidenote, kudos to anybody who still remember’s Cool Doctor Money.)

For an award show known for surprises (Madonna kissing Britney, Russell Brand claiming he molested at least one of the Jonas Brothers), the VMAs 2009 presented one more.

Kanye West, eternal five year old screaming for more attention, decided to get on stage and tell everyone how much he loved Beyonce’s music video. Only he decided the proper time was during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech.

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I had the chance to visit Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory last week and talk to Rob in support of MTV’s new See You Thursday block that starts tonight at 9PM PM ET/PT.

Here’s the interview:

Shows that premiere tonight starting at 9PM:
-Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory: Season 2
-Bully Beatdown
-Nitro Circus
-Pranked.

**Update**