(Miami Beach, FL)  Dig the National Lampoon Axe Body Spray ladies! It certainly wasn’t a brilliant reporter’s penetrating questions that evoked such a jaw-dropping and hysterical reaction from two of the hottest WWE Diva’s in Planet Earth the entire galaxy.

Miami Beach’s world famous Fountainbleau Hotel, noted home for music in The 50’s and 60’s with performances by Elvis and The Rat Pack to name but a few, was now host to one of the biggest lunatics — moi.  Film was also big at the Fountainbleau (until I arrived).   One of my favorite memories of South Beach in the 80’s came from The Pool Scene in Scarface, when Tony won a bet over a fluttering tongue gone astray…

Back to the really, really, hot Divas who were kind enough to take a few moments with me.  You can see I’m completely distracted from the Super Bowl (where I hit the under, the coin-toss, and the Aint’s), and I need to get back to my new girlfriends pictured above.

So yeah.  We’re on the Red Carpet.  And I ask them a particular question.

But… Grown men do not kiss and tell.  Yet…

Stay tuned for some great video I have to edit.  Find out if I get punched out by an MMA Star, a rapper, Eddie George, Kim Kardashian’s Mom, Rachel Hunter, these rude girls from some show I’ve never heard of called, “The Hills,” or a very famous drummer from an 80’s rock band and other A-listers.

In the meantime, try to guess the question(s) I ask the Divas!  Will it be…

1)A question about The Current WWE Champion?

2)A question on religion?

3)Human sexuality?

4)Horrible skin conditions?

5)Other?

Plenty of adventure and pictures to come!  Join us on a trip through the world of padded cells and Rolls Royces with that hot urine color Diddy likes so much.

There are few things in this world I love as much as Jenna Fischer.

I fell in love with Jenna during her first episode as Pam Beesly in The Office. From then on, it was like magic. Yet today I learned she is engaged to writer Lee Kirk. I feel like all my hopes and dreams just got kicked in the nuts.

Jenna Fischer is a good looking woman. But not too good looking. She can be good looking if she tries. Anyway, she seemed like a nice lady to stalk.

So, I began in the summer of 2006, when I moved to Scranton. I was shocked to find that A) the small Pennsylvania city looks nothing like Southern California and B) the show is filmed in Los Angeles.

Upon moving to California, I took up normal hobbies. Fishing, surfing, and standing outside of Jenna’s house with binoculars. I’m not a pervert or anything. I was protecting her. And watching her undress.

She was funny in both Walk Hard and Blades of Glory, but it was in The Office that my so-called “rampant and violent obsession” took hold (nice prognosis Dr. Finklestien, not worth the $200 an hour therapist fees). On the show, as her relationship with Jim Halpert progressed, I became angrier. I firebomed John Krasinski’s home.

But now she is engaged for real. To a writer, no less.

I guess it’s really over. I’ll take down her shrine in my closet, burn the Jenna doll I made from garbage taken from her trashcan, and slowly and painfully laser off my Jenna + Thane 4Ever tattoo from my lower back.

I will love you always Jenna Fischer.

Now, does anyone know if Zooey Deschanel is single?

What’s the best way to boost a company’s morale? By having “Naked Friday”, of course. A design and marketing firm in Newcastle brought in the help of David Taylor, a business psychologist, who suggested the idea. When asked about the idea, David said “Inviting an organization to go naked is the most extreme technique I’ve used, aside from Russian Roulette Mondays at another firm. That one didn’t pan out as well as I had hoped. It’s all fun and games until someone’s brains are blown out the back of their head, right?”

As weird as it sounds, most of the staff were willing to participate. Their were only two employees that opted to keep some secrets to themselves, a male employee who wore a “posing pouch” and a woman who wore black underwear. If you don’t know what a posing pouch is, it’s essentially a g-string. When asked why the employee even had a posing pouch in his possession, he declined to comment.

The house manager, Sam Jackson, was the only woman to not keep her goodies in the jar. “Now that we’ve seen each other naked, there are no barriers. It made sexual harassment that much easier. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner.” Jackson goes on to say “It was a very titillating experience. We were able to completely honest with each other and not be asshamed. As a result, employees have been hard at work. The company has improved massively.”

To keep up stereotypes and in the spirit of satire, I took my shirt off in this interview with Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner. More importantly, Jennifer Garner doesn’t have pants on! You heard it here first, the first ever shirtless Matthew McConaughey interview (although it’s me that is shirtless, ladies. Apologies)! I had a tough time getting the microphone on and tried to make a chest hair dread to clip it to.

Also, Matt and Jen discuss scarves, Iceland, and their new movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

I headed down to the red carpet of the world premiere of the film Australia, starring Nicole Kidman and Sexiest Man Alive Hugh Jackman. Celebrity cameos by the likes of Kelsey Grammer, Bazz Luhrmann, John Leguizamo, Padma Lakshmi, Valentino, Richie Rich, and many more. Join me on this red carpet journey of epic proportions!