By: Eddie “Cube” Rawls
Last night’s election results in states I do not reside left a huge impact on complex domestic and foreign issues alike. Unquestionably, we can extrapolate the results of statewide elections and form one singular conclusion all nuclear physicists and political pundits can agree on as we march towards a more perfect union and world peace…
Hakim Nelson and Jason Stenson, a same sex couple, were married in New York when a clerk failed to realize Hakim was male. In the clerk’s defense, Hakim did wear an orange dress and white leggings to the ceremony, but anyone who’s seen The Crying Game should’ve known that was a ruse. Ya’ gotsta check these days. Though a marriage license was obtained and certified, the city clerk’s office says the marriage is not valid because the couple has one too many penises.
What worries me most about this situation is that you know Hollywood execs now feel exonerated for all those ridiculously implausible gender disguise plots they’ve put out over the years. The suits are all in a board room somewhere smoking cigars and patting each other on the back saying, “see, I told you White Chicks was a good idea.” Or, “I never doubted She’s the Man could happen in real life. It just felt organic and right.” One of the execs just dusted off a script about a ring of pre-op gender reassignment midgets who pose as female CIA agents tasked with seducing Gorbachev during the Cold War that the execs have been sittin’ on cuz’ even they thought it was implausible and said, “what the hell. Let’s give it a go.”
All of you who live in NYC, Comedy Central will be hosting a free comedy event at NYC’s Central Park SummerStage. It’s part of their Comedy Central Park series. Tonight’s acts will be Pablo Francisco and Gabriel Iglesias.
Show starts at 7PM ET. Enter near the Fifth Avenue & 72nd Street entrance.
Have fun!!
Tea Baggin
I am so excited that there is finally a tea bag party in New York sponsored by the Republican Party today at Brooklyn Bridge Park. It’s about time that this act got some national attention. I personally have been tea-bagging since I was in college. Who wouldn’t like their freshly shaved scrotum dipped into somebody’s mouth for constant soft sucking? I have always been a fan of teabagging. If Rush Limbaugh wants me to teabag with him then I’ll gladly stand next to him and brandish my balls for the wetness of some young Republican’s mouth. I hope that the weather warms up. It’s hard to tea bag with this cold, wet weather because you just don’t get the looseness of the bag when it’s that cold. It’s much better to tea bag when it’s warm. That way the bag loosens and you can really get a good dip. When my balls are all shriveled and cold I can’t get any depth on my dip. I don’t want just the tip of my bag licked. I actually want to dip my balls into a mouth and have them come out covered in saliva all shiny and cool. I’m shaving them and shining them up. I hope Republicans like smooth huevos cause the forest is gone and the tree stands alone. Who would have thought that the Republican party would go so far to please me after trying to stifle my voice against the war, the second war, Katrina, the bank bailout, torture, Guantanamo, and other issues too numerous to mention here. Thanks Republicans. I’d say you owe me this ball licking, but I don’t want to make you feel too bad about it. I’ll be quiet and accept my ball licking as if you are doing me a favor. Open wide and watch the shaft, I just got it waxed.
Bravo is doing a new series called NYC Prep. The show will follow six rich NYC private school kids and their extravagant lives. As the press release quotes, “Everyone’s beautiful and everyone’s connected.” So in other words…NYC Prep is basically the real-life Gossip Girl. NYC Prep is set to premiere on Tuesday, June 16 at 11 p.m. ET/PT, but will move to it’s regular time slot on Tuesday, June 23 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
Read about the NYC Prep kids after the jump…
Hey guys, I had the chance to talk to some of the guys from The Whitest Kids U’ Know, and they were amazing! If you haven’t seen their show yet, it’s a must…check it out on IFC, Tuesdays at 10PM ET/PT. Also, check them out live (click here to go to their calandar).
Here’s the interview:
By: Eddie “Cube” Rawls
Last night’s election results in states I do not reside left a huge impact on complex domestic and foreign issues alike. Unquestionably, we can extrapolate the results of statewide elections and form one singular conclusion all nuclear physicists and political pundits can agree on as we march towards a more perfect union and world peace…
Hakim Nelson and Jason Stenson, a same sex couple, were married in New York when a clerk failed to realize Hakim was male. In the clerk’s defense, Hakim did wear an orange dress and white leggings to the ceremony, but anyone who’s seen The Crying Game should’ve known that was a ruse. Ya’ gotsta check these days. Though a marriage license was obtained and certified, the city clerk’s office says the marriage is not valid because the couple has one too many penises.
What worries me most about this situation is that you know Hollywood execs now feel exonerated for all those ridiculously implausible gender disguise plots they’ve put out over the years. The suits are all in a board room somewhere smoking cigars and patting each other on the back saying, “see, I told you White Chicks was a good idea.” Or, “I never doubted She’s the Man could happen in real life. It just felt organic and right.” One of the execs just dusted off a script about a ring of pre-op gender reassignment midgets who pose as female CIA agents tasked with seducing Gorbachev during the Cold War that the execs have been sittin’ on cuz’ even they thought it was implausible and said, “what the hell. Let’s give it a go.”
All of you who live in NYC, Comedy Central will be hosting a free comedy event at NYC’s Central Park SummerStage. It’s part of their Comedy Central Park series. Tonight’s acts will be Pablo Francisco and Gabriel Iglesias.
Show starts at 7PM ET. Enter near the Fifth Avenue & 72nd Street entrance.
Have fun!!
Tea Baggin
I am so excited that there is finally a tea bag party in New York sponsored by the Republican Party today at Brooklyn Bridge Park. It’s about time that this act got some national attention. I personally have been tea-bagging since I was in college. Who wouldn’t like their freshly shaved scrotum dipped into somebody’s mouth for constant soft sucking? I have always been a fan of teabagging. If Rush Limbaugh wants me to teabag with him then I’ll gladly stand next to him and brandish my balls for the wetness of some young Republican’s mouth. I hope that the weather warms up. It’s hard to tea bag with this cold, wet weather because you just don’t get the looseness of the bag when it’s that cold. It’s much better to tea bag when it’s warm. That way the bag loosens and you can really get a good dip. When my balls are all shriveled and cold I can’t get any depth on my dip. I don’t want just the tip of my bag licked. I actually want to dip my balls into a mouth and have them come out covered in saliva all shiny and cool. I’m shaving them and shining them up. I hope Republicans like smooth huevos cause the forest is gone and the tree stands alone. Who would have thought that the Republican party would go so far to please me after trying to stifle my voice against the war, the second war, Katrina, the bank bailout, torture, Guantanamo, and other issues too numerous to mention here. Thanks Republicans. I’d say you owe me this ball licking, but I don’t want to make you feel too bad about it. I’ll be quiet and accept my ball licking as if you are doing me a favor. Open wide and watch the shaft, I just got it waxed.
Bravo is doing a new series called NYC Prep. The show will follow six rich NYC private school kids and their extravagant lives. As the press release quotes, “Everyone’s beautiful and everyone’s connected.” So in other words…NYC Prep is basically the real-life Gossip Girl. NYC Prep is set to premiere on Tuesday, June 16 at 11 p.m. ET/PT, but will move to it’s regular time slot on Tuesday, June 23 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
Read about the NYC Prep kids after the jump…
Hey guys, I had the chance to talk to some of the guys from The Whitest Kids U’ Know, and they were amazing! If you haven’t seen their show yet, it’s a must…check it out on IFC, Tuesdays at 10PM ET/PT. Also, check them out live (click here to go to their calandar).
Here’s the interview:
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