A five year study by the nation’s Roman Catholic Bishops released recently has concluded without a doubt that celibacy and homosexuality have nothing to do with the rash of priest sex scandals that have rocked the Christian world.  Instead, priests coming into the church in the 60′s and 70′s were not properly trained to deal with the stress and turmoil that came with the sexual revolution of the 60′s and 70′s.  With the investigation spanning over half a decade, its results cannot be taken as anything other than absolute and incontrovertible fact. …

March 22nd was World Water Day.  It was a movement started in 1993 to raise awareness on water conservation and promote clean aquatic habits.  With the rise of social media, Twitter and Facebook have reinvigorated the movement and given people a medium to make the world a better place.   #worldwaterday was tagged onto hundreds of thousands of tweets on March 22nd with their suggestions and ways to conserve water and water facts from around the world.  It was infectious.  Its spread like #WINNING or the eventual virus that will …

The pacific shook this week. A 9.1 magnitude quake has left Japan in ruin and the death toll is expected to be in the thousands. The quake caused 10+ foot waves to hit the coast of Hawaii. In this time of mourning and crisis, one thought is prevalent in all of our minds:
HUGE PROFITS!!
Throughout history, people have become rich and famous in the wake of tragedy. Everybody from Julius Caesar to Bono has raked in huge profits from the misfortune of others. The good nature of people and the strategy …

Its wrapping up its 5th season.  It holds the record for Emmy nominations in a single year with 22 in 2009.  It has created a plethora of memorable characters and has a non-stop stream of excellent celebrity cameos.  It has no G*d, d@mn, annoying, asinine laugh track.  Yet, somehow its alway on the verge of cancellation and routinely has half the viewers of the formulaic abomination known as “How I Met Your Mother”.  Its “30 Rock.”
Much like “Arrested Development”, its a show that might be a hard sell.  They don’t …

(I have posted this the last two years, but I still don’t hear or see people using it.)
I’m making something new up. This is coming from probably 64% boredom, 27% desire to solve an actual problem and 9% hoping something funny comes out of it.
Coming into the Christmas shopping season, we’ll all deal with the hording masses exercising their ability to purchase small consumer items for others in the spirit of Christmas. Not, its not a rant on commercialism destroying Christmas. I’m sure there are enough blogs …

Imagine…
You’d had a normal dating life.  You’d dated a series of nice, but average girls.  But then, after a breakup with a nice, home town girl, you hook up with Scarlett Johansson!  You were a little apprehensive at first since you’d never been with someone like this.  She was fast and exciting.  It took a little time, but then things really started clicking when you got to know each other.
It feels really good.  Everybody takes notice of you now.  And there are a few bumps in the road.  Scarlett made …

Chad Ochocinco’s new cereal hits stores and has the best toy for little boys and girls of any cereal promotion ever!  When you buy a box of Ochocinos, you are asked to call a phone number to support feed the children.  Chad Ochocinco forgot to tell people that the children they would be feeding were the children of chicks who work at phone sex lines.
“With the uprise of internet porn, it was brought to my attention that a great number of ugly chicks with sexy voices were going out of …

October 15th will see the release of the third chapter in the epic Jackass series.  Also, Bill & Ted might return to the big screen for their third adventure.  What can we expect?  Is that just a crappy segway using a current trend into an article I already had written that really has nothing to do with that intro?  Yes.  Its been well documented how much drop off there is when a film series reaches Part 3.  Its the time when they are pressured to make a follow up to …

There is a horror film by Tom Six causing waves in the indie film community called Human Centipede, in which a crazy doctor attempts to create a human centipede by joining people he kidnapped together.  Its been called disturbing, unpleasant and sick.  Roger Ebert said the following when he refused to assign a 0-to-4 star rating like he has for every other film he has ever reviewed:

I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited …

At 7:07 on April 11, 2010, Texas Stadium was imploded.  The Dallas Cowboys recently moved into new facilities in Cowboys Stadium, making the old Texas Stadium obsolete.  The most prominent feature of the  old Texas Stadium, outside of the steady stream of felons seen entering and leaving the home team locker room, is the giant hole in the roof of the stadium.  Former Cowboys linebacker D.D. Lewis said the hole was there so “God can watch his favorite team play.”  Well, we here at National Lampoon have secured an interview …