Picture via BuzzFeed

By: Eddie “Cube” Rawls

Rule number one when it comes to God and bashing the gays:  Don’t wear gay-ass clothes while doing so:

Last week at Syracuse University, Michelle Deferio, Syracuse resident (not student), and her father stood on a street corner on campus holding a sign that read, “Homosexuality is a sin, Christ can set you free.”

Chris Pesto, a junior drama major, decided to take action. …

“This woman was wearing a ankle-length corduroy skirt, which, as we all know, is a fashion nono. So, in order to make her feel uncomfortable, I stood next to her and held a sign that said Corduroy skirts are a sin!”

I thought of the above picture this morning while watching Meet The Press.  Pastor Rick Warren spoke with David Gregory about God, lightening bolts, and flying non-flaming chariots of do-gooders — the ones who help the poor and never live off their own riches.  Pastor Warren was kind of mum when it came to his whole, “Jesus hates homos brigade” to directly quote the latter quote.

In the spirit of the above gesture and photo, and in protest of Skull-Rapist Pastor Rick Warren, I will never ever get really, really fat, gross, all sweaty-like and slovenly.  Nor will I induce mass-vomiting simply by virtue of my presence alone — like some bizarro modern-age preacher version of Lardass Hogan from Stand By Me.

They call that sin, “Gluttony.”

I shalt not wear a shitty goatee — especially one not fit for a bullpen pitcher in a fourteenth installment of Major League.

They call that sin, “Goateeshitty.”

The book sales money, I keep though.  Happy Thanksgiving.

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By: Eddie “Cube” Rawls

(Via BuzzFeed)

Finally, a preacher brave enough to tackle a problem cursing the body politic, our moral fabric, President Obama, and indeed, urinals caked on walls across the universe… peeing sitting down.

Reports are already leaking that Sarah Palin is set to stand up and agree on Facebook.

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Random noises, throwing rocks at Jack Black and Michael Cera, talking National Lampoon with Harold Ramis, Religion, make-up, and overall absurdity is what transpires in these interviews with the cast of Year One. National Lampoon’s The Zaz Report breaks ground yet again with discovering David Cross’ favorite sandwich. We also discover the true nature of the after life. I brought the interviewing thunder. Watch it like lightning.

While a Long Island store clerk was in the midst of closing up his convenience store, a robber rushed in with a baseball bat. After demanding the money the store clerk, Mohammad Sohail, pulled a shotgun on the perp.

As the would-be robber fell to his knees he vowed to change his religion to Islam. Shocked and compelled with an overwhelming sense of compassion, Mohammad let the perpetrator go with some loose cash and a loaf of bread.

A truly heart felt story in these hard economic times. Too bad the robber didn’t pull that stunt in a downtown LA mini mart. His brains would redecorate the ceiling faster than a waiter can tell you he’s also an actor.