It was annouced this morning that the ABC comedy ‘Ugly Betty’ would be cancelled this season, with enough time for a series wrap-up this spring. The cast and crew were informed this morning. Its been rumored the cast has just been getting too good looking for anyone who previously enjoyed the off-beat show, to care anymore. I mean, if having glasses on an otherwise very pretty character makes you ugly, good lord. Most of us are down-right disgusting.

Conan O’Brien, master comedian of late night comedy whose shows have brought us such joys as The Masturbating Bear, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, In The Year 2000, and Twitter Tracker may very well lose The Tonight Show a mere 7 months after first sitting behind the epic desk.
For those of you who live under a rock or are Amish, NBC has cancelled Jay Leno’s insanely stupid primetime show at 10 p.m. and are moving him back to 11:30 for half an hour. Therefore, NBC wants to push Conan and The Tonight Show back to 12:05. Conan refused their offer in a statement, saying “The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show.” He then added, “I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.”
Today I was looking through my thousands of fan e-mails, most of which were about offers of free Viagra, and came a message asking where National Lampoon stands on the issue. After about half a second of consideration, I am officially putting us on Team Conan.
Conan is a Harvard educated, former writer for Saturday Night Live and The Simpsons, whose red hair has brought smiles to millions. Jay is a fat, big chinned, idiotic asswipe who thinks reading newspaper typos is funny and who has destroyed NBC’s primetime line-up and will soon destroy their late night schedule as well.
And I’m not the only one with something to say. Below are all of the late night hosts and their responses to this ridiculous situation. David Letterman explains the entire situation between Conan and Jay “Big Jaw” Leno, Jimmy Kimmel did his ENTIRE SHOW as Jay Leno, Conan turns to Howie Mandel to try and see which option he should take, and Craig Ferguson rambles beautifully on how none of this affects him:

The Weather Channel has announced that it will start showing movies. That’s right, movies. I thought it was bad enough when MTV stopped playing music or when Cartoon Network started showing live action or when BET had a white person on, but this is pretty awful.
When do you watch The Weather Channel? Either right before leaving the house to decide whether to wear a jacket, or in the case of an emergency and you want to know if you are going to die from a tornado or hurricane. Which is why I look forward to turning to The Weather Channel in a moment of desperation to find Deep Blue Sea playing.
The films chosen are supposedly weather-centric (such as The Perfect Storm) but some of their choices are a bit harder to pin down, such as March of the Penguins and Misery, which I suppose both feature weather in that they both occurred on the planet earth. I just pray that they begin airing Step Up 2 The Streets, since the dramatic final showdown is in the rain.
But let’s be serious. People have been pleading for years for The Weather Channel to begin showing movies. It’s not like you can watch them on any other channel. So, dammit, they are finally giving the people what they want: highly censored B-movies.
Additionally, The Weather Channel has promised to continue their weather updates every ten minutes. Which means the terrible movies will be interrupted every ten minutes. I imagine that would be quite disruptive when I’m trying to enjoy the acting abilities of Christian Slater in Hard Rain.
The Weather Channel was recently purchased by NBC Universal - the kings of good decision making. NBC Universal’s history of wise decisions include canceling Southland, greenlighting Joey, and putting Jay Leno on the air in primetime every day of the mother fucking week. So, their leadership is clearly leading The Weather Channel in the right direction.
Good job NBC. You killed another locally shot scripted series. But not after relegating it to Friday nights when no one watches tv anyway. I’ve taken the liberty to write an homage to Southland, one of the only decent dramas NBC had:
Oh my gosh, Southland.
Way too gritty for primetime.
Dateline is cheaper.
Jeff Zucker is so smart.
The one thing viewer’s want more
of is Jay Leno.
Southland would have stayed
if it were reality.
Broadcast tv, RIP.
Trauma has choppers!
Southland had lots of silence.
We like fire more.
Biggest Loser, Do
You Think You Can Dance, Surviv-
or, Whats on F/X?
NBC can not
get it right. They should bring back
Seinfeld and good shows.
I’m too lazy to
find another format, so
Haikus will do, bitch.

For some time now I have been the Senior National Lampoon Reporter on all Jon & Kate Plus Eight related news. I spent years of non-stop research into the mentality and psychology of America’s most dysfunctional couple. My personal life disintegrated, my therapist dropped me as a client, my wife left me for my therapist … and all for my work to thoroughly explore and explain the sensation that is Jon & Kate Plus Eight for your reading pleasure.
And now I learn that it is all for naught. It was not the end of Jon & Kate when the couple filed for divorce months ago. In fact, it seemed the quite the opposite. Instead of the show being filled with boring kids, it could now focus on the world’s most strained relationship disintegrating for the enjoyment of a sadistic nation.
But now TLC has foolishly announced they are dropping Jon from the show – and worse, the title. Kate Plus Eight will follow the single mother as she looks after her eight children. If I wanted to watch that, I’ll go down to the local laundromat. But seeing as I own a washing machine and think laundromats smell like poverty, I’ll pass.
Does TLC not realize that they had the ability to truly reinvent television? Keeping Jon on the show would be like watching The Brady Bunch, but better. It would be just like the original, except Mike and Carol would separate, Carol would yell uncontrollably at Cindy and Bobby (when she’s not away on book tours and hosting her new talk show) and Mike would show up occasionally with some younger, hotter chick.
It is with great sadness I say goodbye to one of television’s greatest couples. But what really kept me weeping all day, was our loss of Jon.
Jon, you complete turd of a man, I will miss you. You belong in the reality TV douchebag hall of fame with the likes of Spencer Pratt and Brody Jenner. May your memory be eternal.
Previous articles in Thane Economou’s Pulitzer Prize winning series on Jon & Kate:
And, here it is!! The interview I did with Dianne from Oxygen’s Addicted To Beauty. She’s the CEO of Changes medical spa and was so sweet. Interview highlights: Dianne talking about being a test case for Botox. What a trip! Loved her.
Addicted to Beauty premieres tonight at 11PM ET/PT on Oxygen.

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