The end is near. The Rapture is upon us. We have nothing left to do but drink, steal, and make sweet love to anyone and everyone of legal consent. That’s right, the Astrological Sign system has been turned on its head, and we are left to wallow in its mighty Zodiac power. Here’s just a preview of what is to come, in a top 5 list:

5. Dating will never be the same, who will match up with the new Ophiuchus? How will we be able to procreate without the means …

Follow National Lampoon MMA @BryanORourke and @NationalLampoon!

Relentless…
Yeah, my team gave it to me cause the fight would start and it was non-stop action – the bell rings and I explode on these guys.  But I like ‘Relentlessy’ like you said, it sounds better!

So you have a rematch this weekend with seasoned veteran Bobby Voelker. What were your thoughts in the first fight after he went ‘Captain Insano’ on you?
(laughing) I love the Waterboy!  I hated the way it ended, that’s why were rematching.  He’s a good dude, but this time …

Who could have guessed that 50-Cent would fancy himself a rapper, a cancer patient/actor, and now, a comedian of sorts? After Perez Hilton’s jabs at “Fiddy”, calling him a “douchebag”, 50-Cent decided it was time to take things to a higher level…of comedy. According to Curtis Jackson (50-Cent), he was just making a joke. He tweeted that he had his homie shoot up a gay wedding to make him feel better. You see, when Fiddy makes a joke, he does it with bullets. As it seems, 50-Cent may be the …

Sci-Fi wire pulled a great list together of God_Damn_Batman tweets.  We just whittled it down and pulled a few more. Read our favs then read the rest, then follow him because its better then following Ashton Kutcher or someone else equally lame.
I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I am mildly lactose intolerant.
Joker’s face: make-up or permanent? Punch Test reveals nothing. Will try Concrete Dragging next.
Alfred, do you really expect me to peel string cheese wearing these gauntlets? THAT’S WHY I ASKED FOR LUNCHABLES!”
Found the Twilight novels under Robin’s bed. …

Robin Lundberg and the gang from http://www.lundberg.me cross the line between reality and online social networks.

Let me get right to the point:  Conservatives just don’t do well with comedy. Intrinsically, they are simply unfunny.  It’s been proven and stuff.  This is because… they suck the taint from the fringe of my balls I’m about to teabag them with.
I wasn’t looking for trouble.  Trouble came dunkng for me.
See, I’m addicted to this cyber-gadget I’ve written blogged about before.  Twitter.  Perhaps you’ve heard of this contraption.  I think it’s the offspring of an illegal iGay relationship between Jobs and Gates.  I dunno.
I dabble in politics.  Mostly, lately, …

Conan O’Brien used to have a show, then he had another show and now he has a twitter account. Thats what his ‘bio’ section states in his new verified twitter account. He’s only posted once but I’m sure it will be a bit more active as his boredom sets in.

Welcome to the new media of hash marks and overly used @ symbols!

Over the past several days Google has created quite the Internet commotion by adding to the endless flow of minutia with the insertion of their version of Facebook into vast ocean of repeated information that is the World Wide Web. Gmail users found themselves invited to see what all of the “Buzz” was about when they logged into their accounts. Basically what they found was a bunch of status updates and the ability to comment on them. Revolutionary. Seeing as Google has gone out of its way to improve every …

A behind the scenes look at Michael Ian Black’s new children’s book, The Purple Kangaroo, with illustrator Peter Brown. MIB is most notably a professional jackass, but a jackass with heart. Should he be writing kids books, or even being around them, not sure. But this video is funny.

The Making Of Michael Ian Black’s The Purple Kangaroo – watch more funny videos

Well, those two jokers are back at it again! Mark and Andy do their annual round-up of the year’s best shows. Except they don’t really do that and instead talk about a single show from 2009 that tickled their fancies. Let the fickle finger of fate fly, and have a happy new year, pals!