2009’s Top Halloween Costumes For Couples

by Thane Economou

As National Lampoon’s chief assistant junior fashion reporter, I am pleased to announce the top costumes for the 2009 Halloween season. Recommended here are the finest choices in costumes for the couple that wants to show off their joint topicality.

Jon and Kate:

For the “Kate”, buy a mullet wig and put it on backwards to recreate her classic bangs. Wear high heels constantly, and complain about having to run after the kids. Shriek like a banshee at everyone you meet.

For the “Jon”, wear Ed Hardy shirts and leave your date at the first sign of a hotter woman.

Hannity and Colmes:

My life certainly hasn’t been complete since this self centered, idiotic, Fox News duo split in January. You can make me whole again by Trick-or-Treating as this pair. And Hannity and Colmes is a perfect costume set for gay couples. The more hot-headed, loud mouthed, aggressive of the two is Hannity. And Colmes is the bitch.

The ShamWow guy and his prostitute:

When the guy from the ShamWow imformercials was arrested in February for beating up a prostitute in a motel room, my first thought was “cute Halloween costume alert!” Showing up as the ShamWow guy and the hooker that he slap-chopped will get everyone’s attention. It’s the costumes that will have them saying “wow” everytime!

Jennifer Aniston and, well, frankly anybody:

Match Jennifer Aniston with just about anyone at the Halloween party. Arrive with someone, hook up with someone else, return to the guy dressed like John Mayer a couple of times, hook up with another person entiretly, etc. The only downfall is you will definitely leave the party alone.

And probably die alone.

Hamid and Zeenat Quraishi Karzai:

I know, it’s the obvious choice. But even amidsed the turmoil of a run-off election for the Afghanistan presidency, an on-going U.S. led war against the Taliban, and Zeenat’s ongoing feud with Queen Latifah, this celebrity couple always keeps it cool and fabulous. You’ll be instantly recognized as the “silver fox” of the Middle East and his drop dead gorgeous wife, Kabul’s reigning queen of gossip. As they say in Afghanistan:

دشما بهترین لباس در شهر داشته باش

So true… so true…

Now grab that special someone, dress up as a couple, put aside that domestic dispute the other night, forgive him for accidentally sleeping with his dental hygienist, and wear one of 2009’s most topical costume sets. You’ll turn heads at any Halloween party, and allow people to remember events from what is, if we are being honest, a pretty mediocre year.

Previously posts include:

2009’s Top Halloween Costumes For Men