Champagne will be popped, tears of joy shed, and broken up couples reunited, when Jay Leno transfers “The Tonight Show” torch to Conan O’Brien later this evening. Even as I write this article, kleenex in hand, I just can’t believe it’s finally over.

When Leno took “The Tonight Show” from Johnny Carson in 1992, I was only 12, but I knew the show had just been totally debased.  I say Leno took the show, because Carson would never have freely handed over an American icon to the “Doritos Chips” guy (it had to be a network decision). And it was the first of many, many things Leno would take. Ok, let’s just say it. Steal. The many things Jay Leno would steal. Jay’s a total thief. He’s stolen from everyone.

Leno’s “Jaywalking” and “Red Carpet Interviews” segments are direct rip offs of the Howard Stern show, and he’s already stolen so much from Conan, that he’s decided to just give him the show, rather than deal with the lawsuits.

Jay wasn’t always so lame, though. In the early 70’s he was actually a pretty funny stand up comedian, performing alongside Jerry Seinfeld and Richard Belzer at the Los Angeles IMPORV. He smoked a pipe, wore sweet plaid suits, and boned Sandra Bernhard (who claims he was totally filthy).

So how does a man go from hip to horrific? Money and time. $27 million a year and 20 years to switch political parties, deny all trysts, and go total straight-edge. But, in how many pictures do we see Jay smiling? Where’s Waldo?

Oh, let’s not focus on the negative. I’m so excited for Conan. I’ve loved him from the his beginning at NBC in 1993. He’s genuinely funny, innovative, and charismatic. “The Tonight Show” just may live again. Don’t F*CK this up O’Brien.