TLC, in a press conference today, said they will be spinning off their hit show Jon and Kate Plus 8 into a new show that’s all about the laid back, awesome dad and without the controlling whore of a mom.

“We saw that people really relate to Jon. He tries his best, and yet someone is yelling at him at all times.” Said President of TLC, Emily O’Reilly. “Jon represents all of us.”

The show will follow the crazy antics as father of eight tries to take care of his kids, but instead just takes them to McDonald’s and then drops them off at his mom’s. The show will differ from the previous installment due to a lack of Kate, and therefore a lack of crazy bitch.

The announcement came on the heels of an ongoing controversy surrounding news of a split between the seemingly miserable couple we all thought were actually happy. It all began when photographers snapped pictures of Jon out on the town with a woman, Deanna Hummel, a 23-year-old teacher who happens to be super hot.

But before an eager nation could say oh snap, the plot thickened. Word broke that Kate was schtupping her bodyguard. And Kate’s brother came out saying that the marriage was a façade, and that she had given Jon a secret love contract stating that he can date whomever he wants, as long as he keeps the show going.

“This guy is fucking awesome,” continued O’Reilly. “First off, he’s really laid back and I’d like to chill with him. Secondly, his wife is pretty good looking. Thirdly, he’s banging this chick who is hotter than his wife. And fourthly, he had permission to do this so long as he keeps up a highly profitable enterprise. I, along with America, salute Jon.”

O’Reilly did not reveal if Kate would lead her own show, but did hint that they would possibly extend one solely for her bangs.

“I believe the media has done a stellar job of manhandling this personal drama,” said O’Reilly in conclusion. “I’m glad the American people can keep up to date on the separation of this once happy couple. And let us continue to pay no mind to the eight children whose family is being torn apart. Thank you.”