Whopper Sacrifice Goes Down: Your Friends Are Worthless Again

Burger King viral campaign and Facebook timesink, Whopper Sacrifice bit the dirt.

If you hadn’t already seen it, Whopper Sacrifice offered a free Whopper for anybody who ditched ten friends on Facebook–which almost immediately raised some questions. Like, is there a Facebook friend to US dollar exchange rate? And if so, were all those hours I spent friending random people dressed as pirates and cardboard-box robots actually incredibly productive? Yes. Yes, they were.

Still, while this may have provided a perfectly good excuse for you to ditch, say, your friends ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, who you never really liked but you had to Facebook because it was just easier than explaining to your friend that he/she has terrible taste and no human person should have that much body hair, don’t think feelings weren’t hurt. Somewhere out there is an incredibly sad girl who is sitting in her bedroom with the lights down low, crying, and shoveling handfuls of sheet cake into her mouth because every single one of her Facebook friends sacrificed her for a grilled beef patty. It’s the cruel reality of the law of large numbers.

Maybe that’s why a yet unnamed hacker screwed with the Burger King site to allow patrons to “cheat”, gaining access to free Whoppers without in fact ditching any of their friends. I can’t say. I’m not a mind reader. But, as this post has gone completely round the bend, I leave you with assurance that the king will do just fine, even without his snazzy Facebook campaign:

That is all.